Scars of the past

Living the trauma

"We need to analyze the corpse better, there may be some more clues. Dad, I want all the files from this fight and from this hack that took place in the system, Clark, find the hole where they entered our servers and if we have access somehow remotely the files that are with them. Angelic, I need Mahamud's entire life history since he released me from captivity, I'm out of date. Rufus, you prepare all the weaponry we're going to need."

I missed leading them, I loved working as George's partner, but leading a team brought me a warm nostalgia, and I loved it.

"Yes, Agent Colin."

Gradually my parents left with the agents, John took the body, and we all went to the police station. The silence between me and George was killing me, I needed to talk to him. We got in the car and we were alone at last.

"We need to talk."

I said looking down, sitting in the passenger seat, not even knowing how to start talking.

He was silent.

"I don't know what you're feeling, and believe me, I tried many times to tell you everything, but I didn't feel ready, I didn't feel it was the time. I... I just need you to know that you are responsible for me finding happiness in this new beginning. When I came here, I started at a new job, but I never imagined that I would have a love like ours, and that's what saved my life."

I took a deep breath.

"When I was in jail and being tortured every day, I just wanted to live and get out and have my life back, but I've been through so much and heard so much that I didn't even think I deserved. I woke up in rehab every day crying, thinking I would still be there, it took more than a year to socially rehabilitate myself and make sure I could live with these traumas. But even so, I lived here all this time, waiting for the time when everything would end, when my dream would fall apart and they would come back. But none of that, changes the fact that I kept it from you, and you have every right to be angry and upset and not want to look at me again."

I got it all out at once, it was like ripping off a very painful bandage all at once, I only realized how much it had affected me when I felt my face wet and saw the tears drip onto my lap.

"It's a lot for me to process, I'm confused and in some ways I feel like I don't really know you."

His words were like knives, I felt the tears rise.

"But at the same time I understand your side, I can't even imagine what you've been through, but it also explains why you're so tough and strong. A part of me is confused, but a part of me is proud of you."

I smiled, I felt truth in him and as much as this was all a big crisis, I believed we would get through this together.

Arriving at the police station, we didn't even know where to start exactly, but we had a lot of work to do.

The auditorium was transformed into the main room of the case, there were photos and information on all the boards, but when we entered. I froze. In one of the boards there were my photos from when I was rescued.

I had never seen it.

They were next to the pictures of the body from earlier, for comparison. But seeing myself in that state, completely malnourished and destroyed, gnawed at my insides, I instinctively turned away, I didn't want to look, I buried my face in George's chest and I felt my breath come faster.

I felt his hand rest on my head.

"It's okay, I'll take the pictures from there."

I nodded, agreeing, he let me go and went to the board to remove the photos, I stayed turned.

"The ones on the body too?"

"No, those don't need it."

"Ok, I already take it off."

I turned around wiping a tear that ran down the side of my eye, and the whole team was silent, Sara looked at me constantly, I knew she wanted to talk to me and had compassion at the same time, I could see it in her eyes.

Everyone looked at papers and more papers tirelessly until they were as aware of the case as possible, I managed to get a moment alone with her.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, you're my best friend and I felt bad whenever I didn't say anything."

"Don't be sorry, that was like a witness protection program, wasn't it?"

I had never thought of it that way, but it was like that.

"Yeah, like it."

"Then you couldn't even tell. It just made me admire you more, for everything you've been through. How are things with George, was he upset?"

"He's confused, but that's to be expected. I think we're good."

What we knew of Mahamud is that he's maintained his business since I left, the Agency made seizures here and there, but nothing big, his son had taken over a portion of the business, and then the Agency moved in, he was a rookie and in a seizure with an undercover agent, they managed to put an end to a major route of human trafficking, and during the apprehension his son was killed.

That was 2 weeks ago, since then he has gone to great lengths to find me, to get revenge on my father.

Which by the way had received a call from the Agency and he left in the morning, my mother left in the afternoon, I stayed with my old team, Angus, Angelic and Clark, and my police team.

We continued our research and investigations in the auditorium and Clarck was able to trace the use of the file that Mahamud stole, so if he tried to see the name of any agent or official, we would know.

Wallace approached us and completely awkwardly asked me:

"Nina, these stolen files, how much access do they have or had? And which agents or officers are we talking about?"

I was surprised by his question.

"Clark is trying to find out how far they had access, but at first it's every agent and officer in the country, from the police, special forces, navy, feds, agents. They're all on those records."

"Even undercover work?"

"Yes, even undercover work. But why Wallace?"

"Because before I came to work at this police station, I worked in narcotics, more specifically, undercover in the mafia for narcotics, and they weren't very happy when they found out that I was a police officer. I was sentenced to death and transferred here. If the mafia have access to my real name or my address, they can come after me, my wife, my son."

He finished the sentence, completely nervous.

"Hey, calm down, it's going to be fine, we're going to find him, and this file. Nobody's going to happen to your family, okay?"

I said trying to calm him down. And really wanting that to be true.