Close The Door

Chapter 6- The Forever Feeling

I close my eyes, reimagining my nightmare. The rain is pelting me, Ash is on the opposite side of me. I keep my eyes shut, preparing for certain death. I may not fall off a cliff, but that would be much better than sitting against a wall, with nowhere to go.

His eyes widen upon hearing me cry out for mercy. He looks down in horror of what I said, and how he was presenting himself. The rain, while hitting us hard, didn't compare to the pain my heart was feeling. He slowly backs away and bends down to my level, initiating eye contact, which I hesitantly break away from.

"What? Why would I do that?" He asks. I look down at the ground, then up at him. He is genuinely confused. I shudder. This would either make or break me, because I can choose to tell the truth and risk my life, or lie and continue hurting myself. I take a deep, albeit shaky, breath.

"Because... because I worried everyone and had you chasing me to a dead end," I say, deciding on not mentioning that I'm gay. I hope he doesn't catch on. He stands back up. "If I were to kill you, it would be because you're a dumbass who will let nature do it for me," he says jokingly. I finally gather the courage to look at him, to actually study his face. I see comfort and warmth, while he sees my tears, my eyes red from crying, looking calm. He reaches his hand out for me; third time's the charm, I guess. I hoist myself and thank him, to which he simply nods his head.

We walk away from the dead end, and to our surprise is pretty much away from a lot of things. The area I ran in appears to be an abandoned part of Hammerlocke. I take note of where we are, because I'm sure I got us both lost. "Let's go back to my room, I don't feel like going back," he says. My face has guilt written all over it, and he seems to notice. "It's not your fault or anything, I just... I also needed to get away from it all." I let out a relieved sigh, as we both look for any familiar spots to reorient ourselves to the university.

We walk around for what seemed like hours, with the rain causing us to mostly remain in spots that were dry. The rain began pouring harder. I'm shivering at this point, but not just from being cold. I wish I could have stayed on the ground and let the weather break me down further, but Ash had to be my savior, even though he's the one that had caused the pain.

It takes us another couple of minutes before we can recognize any sort of landmark. We took a different path; one unfamiliar to the both of us. In a way, it felt very adventurous, even if I was an anxious mess. We've been quiet for who knows how long, with small yes or no questions being asked. I honestly don't know if he's mad at me because if he is, then he's really good at hiding his emotions.

"This way," he says leading me with a pointed finger. So far, we haven't gotten too lost, but I know that we're not too far off from campus. Upon turning the corner, I see the all-too-familiar convenience store lights, glowing from a distance. I know where we are now, and as much as I can redirect us back with full confidence, his stubbornness won't allow me to. I sigh, feeling defeated, but happy to be back.

The rain had softened into a drizzle. Ash and I were completely drenched, but we made it safe. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing that I was still fighting the urge to vomit, but Ash being around didn't help either. Eventually, I knew it had to be done, as I run to the nearest garbage can and let loose. I feel a soothing hand run along my back, comforting me as my stomach empties its regrets into the can. I wasn't anticipating my first sick experience to be from alcohol, but here we are.

After finally feeling better, I lift my head from the outer rim of the can and feel myself freeze. I saw that group again, and they had been staring in our direction. I feel like Ash was oblivious because he did not realize the danger we might have encountered. The group did nothing but send a sharp glare at our direction, and it felt haunting. I motioned that we should head back to the dorm building before things get much worse. He nods and we leave, feeling the unnerving stares from behind.