Close The Door

Chapter 4- Three's a Crowd

My heart stops. The world feels like it's spinning. My roommate is standing in front of me, inches from my face, and I can't even breathe. My chest is tightening, but it's not from fear. From... relief? I found other gay people, but at what cost? My roommate wants no type of friendship from me, but if I tell him I'm just like him, maybe he can ease down.

"Are we fucking clear?" He asks, evil clouding his eyes and judgement. As I'm panicking myself, I nod my head. He doesn't see the internal struggle that is within me, nor do I think it's the best time to say anything. "I have no intention of outing you. I think it's unfair that you need to keep this a secret," I say, trying to de-escalate the situation. He looks like he's raising a fist, but is held back by the other guy. My roommate looks at him and the guy shakes his head, hoping to calm the enraged purple-haired boy. He lets out a sigh, and lowers his arm. I feel relieved. "Just don't tell anyone," he reiterates. I promise him that I will take it to my grave, and he seems calm. The other guy stands up and both he and my roommate get their things and head out the door. 

As soon as they're gone, I lock the door and fall to my knees, breaking out in tears. I'm clutching my shirt from my chest, breathing sporadically. I can't take any deep breaths to calm myself down yet, and my favorite song to listen to won't help me this time. Still feeling dizzy, I try walking to my bed, and fall over, hitting my head on the corner of my bed. Even though my head is bleeding a bit, I have enough consciousness to send Chloe a message and unlock my door, before I pass out.

16G, dorms opposite to you, emergency.—-

-—Goh, what do you mean emergency?

-—Goh?

-—GOH?!?!?!

I don't end up passing out, as I'm awoken by a crowd of people led by Chloe. She's with another girl with long purple hair, a guy with Green hair, and... she's with Ash.

"Oh my gosh Goh, what happened?" She asks frantically. Ash notices the small pool of blood that was smeared along my forehead. He steps out of the room, leaving the three of them in here with me.

"I had a panic attack, and I slipped," I lied. I'm normally not the best at lying but I hope she believes me this time. She looks up at Ash's friends and asks them to bring some wet towels. I told her I can get them myself, but she doesn't want me moving. She's acting like my mom, but I don't want to worry her any further, so I succumb to the treatments. The green-haired guy returns with a first aid kit, and the girl brings back the towels that Chloe had asked for. She grabs the wet towel and presses against my forehead, as I wince from the pain. She apologizes and wipes the blood off lightly. I mouth the words thank you to her, and she lets out a heartwarming smile. The girl bends down to Chloe's level and whispers something to her ear, and she nods. Afterwards, she heads out of the room. "Where did she say she was going?" I ask. While switching to an unstained part of the towel, she readjusts herself. "She went to see if Ash is okay. He's not the best when it comes to blood. He freaked out over a small cut yesterday," she said. I want to chuckle, but this is no laughing matter. My head hurts and my heart aches that I made him uncomfortable. Chloe senses this and reassures me that it isn't my fault.

After wiping off the blood, we're all relieved that it is just a small scrape and nothing too worrying. Still, the guy, whose name is Cilan, recommends that I see the school's nurse. I thank him for the advice and while my head is being bandaged up, I see the girl come back with Ash, who's looking down at the ground, not making any sort of eye contact with me. While it does hurt, I can empathize with him. I wouldn't exactly feel comfortable with the sight of blood either. I thank Cilan and Iris, getting her name after Chloe reveals that she's her roommate, and they were very endearing. As they leave, Chloe tells me she wants to stay with me for a bit; to keep an eye on me to make sure my condition doesn't worsen. In the corner of my eye, I see Ash leaving as well. While Chloe waves goodbye at him, I don't. "I want him to stay," I thought to myself, until realizing that both he and Chloe stood still because I actually said it out loud. Embarrassed, I look away, but I feel a hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I see Ash, still looking away but making an effort to at least try. "If that's what you want buddy," he says. I feel my chest fluttering. I don't know why, it's not really a big deal, but it feels so surreal.