how to be a human being; hirofumi yoshida

ix.

"Saki? Are you awake yet? You're going to be late."

The sheets rustled as Saki sat up in her bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes while a large yawn escaping her. A sort of haze settled over her mind, unusual from the normal drowsiness one was faced with after waking up, one that tugged at the recesses of her mind and told her the world around her was nothing more than a dream, but she pushed through that haze and stood on shaky legs. She reluctantly pulled a sweatshirt over her pajamas and brushed through her bedhead so that she might grace her mother for breakfast without being fussed over for her appearance. Before she could open the door to her bedroom, it swung open with serious force, her mother entering the room like a wayward typhoon.

Her mother, Thala, placed her hands on her hips, disappointed as she addressed the half-awake, half-dressed daughter of hers. "Saki, dear, you can't have just woken up. The poor boy you're going on a date with insisted on waiting outside! In the cold!"

"Date?" Saki dropped her jaw and her brush and exclaimed, "What boy is taking me on a date? I wasn't aware of this!"

"You told me about it last night! Yoshida from your class asked you out to go to lunch today," her mother said, a wistful sigh leaving her as she pressed a hand against her cheek, "I remember when I was young, and I had men falling over themselves to ask me out. Sometimes they would even fight each other to the death for my hand."

She scrambled to grab her dropped brush and finding an appropriate change of clothes for the apparent date she was going on, ignoring the morbid memories being recalled behind her, and tried to wrack her brain for her own memory of being asked on a date. The haze from earlier settled in again at full force, pushing against her thoughts and insisting on her go through with what she was doing without worry. Saki didn't really understand why her brain was being so weird today nor why her mother insisted on telling her strange stories so early in the morning but going on a date with Yoshida didn't sound half-bad.

When Saki was finished getting ready, checking to ensure she looked decent enough in the mirror one last time, she realized her mother had already vacated her room. To her sudden panic, she heard the intermingled voices of her mother and Yoshida downstairs, and every single embarrassing story her mother could and would share with her date sent her flying down the hall to keep any from being told. As she turned the corner – more so skidded and nearly hit the adjourning wall – into the foyer, her gaze landed on Yoshida first, who turned and met her eyes with his small, sort of quirky smile.

"Are you that excited about our date?" he asked with a small tilt of his head in amusement.

Her mother shot her a mischievous look, causing Saki to rethink her original answer of an immediate yes that had been on the tip of her tongue, and instead the young girl crossed her arms and said, "I'm only doing so for a free meal. And because you asked me nicely."

"Saki! Be nice to this handsome young man!" Thala scolded. She wrapped an arm around Yoshida's shoulders and patted him placating as though Saki's words had hurt his feelings.

A brief flash of uncomfortableness flashed across Yoshida's face, spurring Saki into motion. She stomped over to them, gently grabbing his hand and tugging behind him as she passed her mother and grabbed her shoes in own swift movement.

"We should be off. See you later, Mother," she said in parting, pushing Yoshida out the front door while she slipped her shoes on, before waving and slipping out of the house. Whatever her mother said back sounded like she was calling out from underwater, like she had never been there in the first place, sending that flicker of haze over her again.

Outside, the sunlight felt artificial, and her skin felt hot and itchy under that light and her right hand began to throb like she had slammed it in the door, until Yoshida reached over and grabbed her by the hand, taking every ounce of pain away in a second. She thought for a moment as she looked up at him that his features were too blurry and out of sorts to be his, until his smooth and gentle voice cut right through her rambling mind, and for a moment, she felt whole.

"Is everything alright, Saki?" he asked, concerned.

"Mother was acting strange," she admitted, "And I can't remember why you asked me out on a date in the first place."

Yoshida stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her, a curious gleam in his eyes. "Because I like you, remember? I told you so after I saved you from that devil a couple weeks ago."

"I don't remember that...no, I don't remember a life like this," Saki said, frustrated by how wonky her memory was even after Yoshida had given her a perfectly reasonable explanation.

She blinked and they were no longer on the road, but now sitting in front of each other at a small café, the haze settling over her. Their hands were both on the table, his resting over hers, thumb rubbing the top of her hand as if to ease her into the sudden change. He evidently noticed the panic that settled in, but didn't say anything about it, rather Yoshida said instead, "Don't you think you deserve a life like this?"

"It's impossible," she blurted out suddenly without knowing why.

"How so?"

"Mother – no, my mother is dead. She died two weeks ago. And you, I doubt you even like me. You tolerate me, at best. I'm just something you guard and keep safe," she tried to pull her hand away from his, but it wouldn't budge, almost as if she had lost all feeling in her hand and moving her arm now was next to impossible.

His voice sounded overlapped, as if he was saying the words twice. "I like you more than you realize."

And with that, the haze snapped like gaping jaws of death and Saki was staring up at a white ceiling, alone.