Sweet Chaos-IzuOcha

Chapter 5- secrets

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Tw// rape mentions, self-harm

Ochako stands directly under the shower head and lets the burning hot water fall on her for a few minutes. She had worked so hard this week and desperately needed to take a shower that was longer than ten minutes. She had pushed herself over her limit every day and she had all kinds of aches and sores in her body.

She still wasn't satisfied though. It had only been a week since school started and she shouldn't have been so impatient and craving for improvement when she hadn't trained her quirk for almost two months.

It was frustrating but not as frustrating as the way her classmates treated her. Sometimes there was tension in the air when she was around them as if they thought she was weird or different from the way they saw her before. She didn't blame them. No one would want to be around someone who was constantly on the verge of wanting to end their life. Although people she used to talk to sometimes ignored her while others she hadn't talked to tried talking to her.

Maybe it was because she had changed a bit. She was quieter than usual and only talked when talked to. Or her skin that was paler than usual and her face with dark eye bags and a constant stoic expression. She couldn't help it. She wasn't the type to fake her emotions constantly.

Ochako finishes her shower quickly and squeezes the water out of her hair after turning off the water. She felt less tense and more relaxed and ready to sleep for twelve hours straight. It was Friday and she should have been staying up late and having fun, but she didn't want to be left alone with her thoughts. And she was just exhausted.

She puts on some of her strawberry-scented lotion before getting dressed so she could finish doing her hair. She rolls back the sleeves of the same hoodie that Izuku had given her, it was baggy on her and the sleeves were longer than her actual arm length.

She stares at herself in the mirror for a bit and runs her fingers through her hair. She couldn't really recognize herself. She could barely remember her second year of high school even though it just happened, so all her recent memories were from when she was fifteen. She looked different. In a bad way, of course.

Her hair was longer and messier and added to her dead look and her face was red breaking out all over the place. Her bangs fell over her eyebrows and into her eyes and she could hear her mother's voice at the back of her head telling her to cut them.

She sighs and pouts. She takes the makeup bag she kept on her counter and zips it open, looking for her pair of pink scissors.

She had cut her bangs plenty of times before, yet just holding the pair of scissors in her hands made her nervous. She stares at herself again, almost spacing out before her eyes trail down to her arm covered in scars and scabs.

She hadn't had a chance to cut all week. Just one wouldn't be that bad right? She'd make sure not to go too deep.

She opens the scissors and positions them on her wrist. With a quick inhale and a quick swipe, it's over just as quickly as it started. It was deeper than she intended to go. She didn't think a pair of scissors from the drugstore would be so sharp.

It was white at first before the blood pooled in and it seeped down her arms and into the sink. She felt a little bad for not crying this time, but she had cried enough this week already and her tear ducts were recharging for whatever Monday morning had to bring.

She turns the faucet on, letting the warm water wash away the blood. It was bleeding a lot and really deep. She was a little concerned but just shook the feeling off. She was fine and had cut deeper than that before.

Once she gets the bleeding to slow, she wraps it up with a bandage. It hurt a lot when she would bend her wrist but she was about to go to bed so it's not like it would matter.