Sweet Chaos-IzuOcha

Chapter 8- People Never Change

TW: graphic sexual assault, physical assault
*this chapter gets heavy pretty quickly, pls take care of yourselves babes❤️*
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The other night was not in fact a sweet dream. Ochako held hands with Izuku, as they walked to class. He made her feel safe, and she wanted nothing more than to be protectively wrapped in his arms.

The morning after they had kissed, she had woken up with Izuku already awake and laying in bed next to her. The moment she fluttered open her eyes he was a blushing, stammering mess, apologizing for kissing her without asking and she found it cute. He was still the same loveable dork from before and it warmed her heart. She felt like they both had changed so much. It was refreshing.

A part of her wishes it was a dream though. She didn't feel loveable. She didn't feel worthy of having someone like Izuku love her. She was a horrible person and she fucked up so much, yet he liked her more than a friend and saw something in her that she didn't. She had been so cruel, yet his heart fluttered when he thought about her and he blushed when they stared at each other for too long. She hated it.

Someone like her, so fucked up and scarred, isn't supposed to be lovable.

Izuku would have to deal with her and all her issues. He'd have to deal with the fact she didn't feel like a person most days, with the crushing reality that she would die young, because there was no way in hell she could keep going, and how sex repulsed she was. Izuku would be disgusted.

She would be a burden on him and she wouldn't wish that on anyone.

It's probably the reason why he didn't want to put a label on their relationship. Yet. That's what he said that morning. No, partners, no dating, just friends who kissed once.

Maybe last night was a mistake. He was too caught in his feelings and kissed her when he didn't mean it. Just because he liked her didn't mean he loved her. He said it last night, but words that had no meaning behind them slipped out easily when emotions were high. Ochako would know.

He didn't want to put a label on their relationship because he was realizing that things would never work out and she hated that. She hated herself. Maybe if she wasn't so stupid, then she could have confessed earlier. When she was still normal. It wouldn't have prevented the events that changed her from happening, but at least she would have gotten to call him her boyfriend for a while before things got rocky.

"How far along on your project are you?" Izuku asks, breaking the silence.

She loved him, but now he soured her mood by bringing that up. She didn't want to even think about working on her project until the days she had to.

"Uhm, I'm almost halfway done.." Ochako mumbles. She didn't want to say we're almost done. She didn't want to be reminded that she was working alongside someone she despised.

"Ahh, Ashido and I are so far behind-! It's mainly my fault. I've been busy." He pouts and runs a hand through his hair.

Ochako almost forgot about that. She almost forgot why he's even here in the first place. She had been floating on a cloud ever since last night and it felt like everything that was weighing her down disappeared. She liked Izuku and he liked her back, that's all she could ever ask for. She was sure it would make her above the moon, but...she still felt like shit. She still felt gross.

"Don't worry so much about it. It's due next Friday. You have time. It shouldn't be that hard." Ochako picks at her chapped lips. Izuku was intelligent and seemed to be skilled when it came to analyzing heroes.

Izuku lets out a sigh and Ochako can see him look down at her from the corners of her eyes.

"I have to work on my project after school. I want to get it done early." Ochako mumbles. She wanted to spend the afternoon with Izuku, but the sooner she finished the sooner she'd get away from him.