Izzy's Vent Book

Thoughts

I'm doubting my worth again.

I think she prefers little me. I've been trying so hard to be what she wants and to make her proud but I'm just not sure if it's enough.

I think I may also be too much of a bother to her. She says I'm not, and that she likes learning about me and hearing what I have to say but I can never tell if it's genuine. I never feel like it is.

I also like when we talk through things that have happened, no matter how odd the timing of it may be. It hurts some, but I like it. I like hearing her side of things. And I think a large part of that may be because I've shoved it down so much, I avoid it and just try to grow from it. When I get her side, I think i like it because of the trust of it and because I can tell she cares.

I also want to talk about J more? The relationship is complicated still.

I'm also scared that she's going to leave still, it usually happens suddenly. I don't know if I should be sharing so much because she could just be gone one day. I don't think I'm ever going to believe that we're something to stay for. I just don't want to feel the way I do when she leaves. I don't want to see it happening to little me either.