Listen Before I Go

Amusement in Grief

Yikes. I literally forgot about my wattpad account and the fact that i write fics on here. I had this chapter posted on my AO3 account and have done nothing with it or added it here. I apologize for that. Without further ado, the long awaited chapter: Urahara Keisuke's chapter!!! :)

Trigger Warning: derealization, negative thoughts of oneself, possible OOC for Urahara, implied/referenced murder

This chapter may be hard to follow

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Isn't it amusing?

There is a thing about death that even shinigami fear. For humans, there is always the Soul Society that will welcome their souls, the ability to reincarnate and still continue living. Even with this, all souls can experience a second death, especially a shinigami. With this second death, the shinigami are afraid. Afraid of the unknown, never knowing if they can reincarnate or if they're dead and gone.

How pathetic right? No matter how high and mighty they act, they are similar to mortals with the same fear of the unknown that comes with death. They fight and sacrifice themselves like lambs to a slaughter, yet still fear of what will happen should they not come back from a fight. It's to the point that the shinigami with no honor would sacrifice their coworkers and betray their own.

It is amusing.

Death surrounds, always there like the ghost of a worried mother that hovers and waits before using its cloak to swaddle and scoop up its child.

For a shinigami, Death is an intimate embrace that lingers even years after being let go.

Many shinigami are witnesses to the end of their friends and family and even of strangers.

It's amusing in a way car crashes are entertaining, in the way that misfortune loves orphans, and in the way disasters love memories. It is tragic in the way a lone leaf falls and watches the tree collapse beside it. It is nothing about a show that leaves the audience on the edge of their seats only to end in the saddest way possible.

Is it fate?

Kisuke has always been a sharp person, intelligent to the point that lesser people can't understand, can't fathom possibilities they deem impossible. He is pragmatic despite having been nervous and quiet prior to his exile. He is confident in his abilities, more than once having pulled off complicated schemes and pulled the strings behind the show. He knows what he's doing.

Does he really know what he's doing?

It's a question he asked about meeting a substitute soul reaper who had a lot of spunk and fighting spirit. One who knows how to get on the nerves of the ones around him, yet would do anything to keep those same people safe. One that would grow in power to save a girl he just met, that would be executed for something that had not been her fault. One that would grow in power to fix mistakes that weren't his to fix and was led and manipulated by someone who should have had his best interests in mind but had been the puppeteer pulling the strings the entire time.

It's laughable.

He had taken this substitute soul reaper under his wing as a student. Isshin and Masaki's kid. Unbelievable, but one he knew would happen. After all, he planned some of it. Aizen can't take all of the credit. The whole war was a game between two manipulative puppet masters, moving pawns around the chessboard and sacrificing whatever they could.

It led to a child carrying the burdens of a world he should have been ignorant to. A child who sacrificed everything that made him him, only to be brushed aside by mortal and reaper friends. A child whose sister is now taking on the mantle, whose sister has taken her turn to be a pawn, learning to control her abilities so similar to her older brother.