Merlin Oneshots

Arthur gets the braincell: AI edition

(A/N: I actually have the AI-copywritten version of this posted on Scratch, so I decided to put it here too since you've already seen the original.)
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Camelot's resident party-pooper, Uther Pendragon, knew it was time to finally tell his son the truth about Merlin.

"Remember, son, no matter what happens, always stay true to your heart," he said.

"Son, before you blow that horn, remember that Merlin is actually a-"

When Camelot's ghostly past came crashing down to his new afterlife kingdom, all that could be heard was Merlin's heavy breathing. For a few glorious seconds, it was as though time had stopped.

"So," Arthur said, breaking the awkward silence, "Magic, huh?"

"Yeah, sorry about that," Merlin said, trying to dislodge the spear from his shirt. "I'm still getting used to it."

"So your dad was trying to say 'magic,' huh?" Merlin said, still trying to dislodge the spear that was stuck in the wall. "I can't be sure. I've got plenty of things sticking me to walls. Spears are just one example."

"Okay, Merlin, I'll take over," Arthur said, rolling his eyes at the other man's ineptitude. "You just make things worse when you try to help."

Merlin wasn't about to argue with that. He was pretty sure Arthur was right.

"Merlin!" The king shouted. "What's up?"

"Just chillin', sire," replied the wizard calmly.

"Do you have magic or not?" The king was getting impatient.

Merlin looked down at his feet for a moment. "Hmm, let me check my pockets."

"Huh? Merlin, speak up; I can't understand you when you're mumbling like a little kid."

"I WAS BORN WITH IT!"

"So you were born with the ability to mumble like a small child? That's amazing!"

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...So that was a train wreck-