Roomates - a head-canon story

Chapter 1 - What The Fuck?

It was a peaceful morning.
Birds were chirping as the sun rose, the wind blowing gently across the trees waking all the sleeping animals.
The ladybug brushing itself off as the bumble flys by.
"What the fuck?" Dannie said as they stumbled into the kitchen after pulling an all nighter.

"Who the fuck are you?" She asked the two half naked men standing in the kitchen, cooking eggs. "Oh we're friends of Eden. Nice to meet you....?" The tall, brown-haired, blue eyed man responded.

"Are you fucking serious?" Dannie groaned. "I just bought those fucking eggs and y'all are fucking eating them like you pay fucking rent! Do you know how expensive eggs are?! Are you gonna pay me back or what?"

They both looked at each other in confusion then went back to cooking.

"We'll pay you back, trust me!" The other man spoke. "I just fucking met you and you say 'trust me' like a fucking idiot. Who the actual fuck do these fucking losers think they are, ah? I'm going to fucking beat their ass." Dannie mumbled to themself before returning to her bed.

"What's with the yelling?" Eden asked, barely awake. "Your roommate got upset at us for cooking?" They answered.

"Cooking? What's wrong with cooking? She loves free food!" Eden questioned. Both men shrugged. "Ion know. We're just cooking some eggs and toast." Eden stared at the food for a minute before it clicked. "OHHHHHHH!! Did you use the eggs with the oink sticky note on it?" She asked.
"Yeah, why?" Eden sighed deeply. "Those were her eggs. She labels everything with a pink sticky note." Both men look at each other.

"Even plates and stuff?" They asked. "Yeah, why?" It was silent for a moment before Eden raised her voice once more. "DID YOU USE HER PLATE AND STUFF TOO?!"

At this point its a wonder they've never gotten a noise complaint. The amount of yelling, either from games or each other, that was done over the last few months was an astonishing amount.

Max walked out of her room looking like a zombie. "Can you all shut up? I'm trying to play my game in peace." They all apologized and went back to their respective activity.

———
It was now 12 pm.
The men were gone and everyone was asleep. All that could be heard was three simultaneous alarms blaring as loud as they could throughout the house.

Then it was silent once more. The alarms stopped but no one was awake.

♪ Sun down, I'm up. Just text you know I'm up. ♪
Dannie's ringtone finally woke her up. "Whaaaaaaat?" They answered, pissed and tired. "Now?..Yeah kay. I'll come get you. It'll take like..30 minutes?...Well yeah but-..Okay but I gotta get dressed first....To impress myself, duh." As she hung up the phone she proceeded to trip over her Minecraft pig pillow.

"Sorry." They said as they picked up the pig and threw it somewhere else.

They opened their closet and pulled out a black velvet tracksuit with BRATZ written on the back as well as a skin tight sage-green top.
She threw it on and then put on her slides and left her room.

"Where you going?" Max asked from the kitchen, eating a bag of goldfish. "To pick up an idiot from work then bring him here. Im taking the car, kay?" Max nodded. "Bring back some coffee from Tims."
"Kay," Dannie took the keys from the counter and left.

"These taste bad. Did someone touch them?" Max asked herself as she went back to her room.
——
Eden could be heard rushing through the apartment trying to find her lipgloss.
"Yeah, put these on and do not—DO NOT— give any information cause once Eden gets a hold, it will all spill out. That's when she gets extra nosey. Got it?" Dannie said as they handed their boyfriend sunglasses and a mask.

"Is this necessary?" He asked as he put the stuff on. "Would you do it if you didn't think it was? And yes. She is like the stalker paparazzi when it comes to everyone else's business. Including boyfriends." Dannie unlocked the apartment door and walked in, followed by her boyfriend.

Eden, not looking up and tearing apart the couch, asked "Hey Dannie have you seen my lipgloss? I have to be in class in 20 minutes and I cant find it!"

"Have ya checked your hand?" She replied as she takes off her stuff. Eden looks at her hand and sighs as she hugs her lipgloss. "Oh my baby! It would've been a DISASTER without you!"

Dannie's boyfriend, D—-, let out a chuckle and immediately, Eden was in front of him.
"What's your name? Why you wearing sunglasses and a mask inside? How old are you? Whats your job? How long have y—" Dannie covered her mouth and threw her on the couch.

"No speaking until this place is clean. Understood?" Dannie said sternly, arms crossed.
"But-!"
"Nope."
"You—!"
"Still no."
"No fair."
"You made the mess how is it not fair?" Dannie asked, visibly confused. "It's just not!" Eden pouted like a child, arms crossed as well. Dannie sighed. "What a loser. Suck it up." They said as they and their boyfriend walked into Dannie's bedroom.

"So not fair." Eden pouted once more before finally cleaning up her mess. "Wait, where's my mascara...!"
———
"You can take that off now. She knows not to barge into my room," Dannie explained as she sat on her bed, staring at him.

"Would it really be that bad to tell her everything?" He asked as he laid next to her. "Telling her is like telling the whole world. Do you want the whole world to know our business, D—-?" Dannie replied as they placed their Minecraft creeper in their lap.

"You are a weirdo," He laughed as he sat up and leaned against the wall. "Remind me, who asked who, again?" Dannie said sarcastically.
Eden started knocking on the door.