My life is Hectic. Everything goes wrong. I have no parents, no siblings , no friends. I have Nothing. And going to school doesn't make it any better. They bully me because I have no parents. How cruel is that ? I never seem to get out of my shell. I can't trust anyone with my thoughts. Sometimes not telling people anything is a good thing. And not hearing anything in return is even better. I take words very seriously, and it breaks my heart when I find out that people don't actually mean what they say. Yet I always wanted to be able to tell someone everything. The last person I trusted Was my boyfriend. He was my first and I wished I was his last. He proved that he didn't deserve my trust afterwards. I was so dumb back then. How could Someone as popular and handsome as him date someone as depressed, Worthless and complicated as me. Turned out he only dated me for a dare. A Motherfucking Dare !! The thing is; I loved him. I trusted him. I wanted him. But he broke my heart, he even stepped on it afterwards by embarrassing me in front of the whole school. After I told him everything about me, he bullied me for it at school. Thank God he graduated now. He was the reason of my misery and depression and its safe to say, I'm glad he graduated, I couldn't stand his presence at school. When I was sad or had nothing to do. I'd always go into the woods. I'd sit there on the grass and look at the stars shining in the sky knowing how I will never shine as bright as they do. I'd look into space and get lost in my thoughts. I'd even talk with myself. I'd scream when I'm frustrated and cry out loud if I'm broken. I'd go deep into the woods so no one would see or find me. It was my only friend. My ex-boyfriend came at my doorsteps after our break up with 2 months saying he wants me back and that he was sorry. I was so vulnerable I almost accepted him back. But I'm thankful my mind was working at that time. I just slammed the door into his face and went back to my room, crying my heart out. He kept knocking and ringing the doorbell but I just stared at the door until the knocking stopped. My heart felt so heavy and I didn't know how to carry it. But I learned to cope with the pain. A year passed and I was still my depressed, Lame, Unsocial self. Today at school wasn't any better. The same Routine. Go to school, get bullied, enter class, Sit, get bullied, go back home; nothing new except that today The school's jock was standing while I was getting bullied and he was frowning. And out of nowhere he started yelling at my bully and pulled me out of his grasp. The whole school was laughing at me and the embarrassment I was feeling was unbearable. A single tear fell down my cheek. I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I hugged my books to my chest and ran out of the school, this time sobbing loudly as more tears spilled down my cheeks onto the books. I ran like my life depended on it. I ran till I reached the woods. And lied down on the grass. I put my books aside and let the tears fall freely as I looked at the sky. " WHY ME ? " I yelled at the sky as a loud sob came out of my mouth. I cried so hard that I struggled to breath but it was okay, I was used to this. I heard footsteps but I didn't bother looking back. I felt a body lay down next to me. I looked at my right side where he was laying. The School's Jock,Liam Payne. He smiled at me and said "Hey". I just looked at him as another tear fell down my cheek. I looked away immediately not wanting any more embarrassment. He just lied there silent. I appreciated it though. An hour or so passed and he was still laying there next to me, Hands behind his head as he looked into the sky. I wondered how can they call him a jerk at school ? He wasn't a jerk at all, or his actions said the opposite. " What's with the whole..." I said still looking at the sky while the sun was setting down. " What ?" He asked averting his eyes in my direction. " The whole....Bad boy act ? " I replied. My tears had dried by now. He rolled onto his side so he was facing me. " Who the fuck said this was a bad boy act ? " He asked calmly. Yet his words showed otherwise. " Your leather Jacket. " I said and faced him. He Chuckled. That was his response, just a chuckle. The Sky turned black and I was sure it was going to rain. And before I spoke he said " I love the Rain ". It had already started raining, just softly. " Why ?" I ask wanting to move his hair out of his eyes, but I contain myself. What's happening to me ? " Because " he starts. " It reminds me of when people cry. Other people allow the person to spill on their shoulders and comfort them. But when it rains everybody goes inside. So I'm the only one out here and I let the rain express its true feelings. The lightening is the frustration and the thunder is the sob. The rain are the tears. So you see ? I stand here and let the rain express its feelings as people express their own. That's why I stand out here in the pouring rain, because I care." He finished. Holy shit that was deep. But he had a point. He was right. I just looked at him and smiled. I couldn't find the right words to say so I figured out that silence would be okay. Who knew that the school's bad boy was such a softie. " You know. You should often talk about your feelings , don't be embarrassed of them. Its better than locking them in inside you. " He suddenly said. I looked at him with surprise evident in my eyes. He just smiled. " But the thing is. I trust no one, not even myself." I said truthfully. " You can trust me." He said simply and shrugged. Could I trust him ? I don't know. ' He defended you and he's now wasting his time just to sit with you. Why can you not trust him ? ' A voice inside my head said but I ignored him. Liam was still looking at me, waiting for an answer. " I don't ..know " I said confused. " Try Me" he said and pushed his hair out of his face. I sighed. I got nothing to lose besides, he's right. I have to talk about my feelings sooner or later. And now I got the chance so why not ? My life is already a mess it can't get any worse. "I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself." I randomly started. " Just try. You've got nothing to lose, Heather. " He said with a genuine smile. " I'm an Orphan, I used to not to trust people but then Jack came and he was so charming and ughhh. He was being sweet and kind with me. He used to hangout at my place and I used to do the same. We became friends and friendship turned to a relationship. I loved him, so much it hurt sometimes. I thought he did the same. I always wondered how eyes could lie but when I saw his eyes, I knew they told a thousand lies but I believed them when they looked in mine. I thought he was good for me. Boy! Little did I know. This all turned out to be a game. Our relationship was based on a dare. And when he broke the truth to me, I was devastated. His bullying and mocking at school didn't make it any better. 2 months later he came to my place saying he wants me back. I slammed the door at his face. He kept knocking but I just ignored it. It was one hell of a year." I Said as I looked at the constellations in the sky. They looked so beautiful, but I hated them. They remind me of how I would never be as beautiful as them.
