[While on a rescue mission gone crazed, a holy warrior and a rogue fight bandits, demons, and the urge to rip each other's clothes off.]
The mission, rescuing a princess, could be going better.
Séa is an earnest paladin, honest and gullible. Tash is...
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Chantelle nibbled on her lower lip. "Do we have any idea how much trouble we're going to stir up when we do this? I'm not exactly a warrior. Could we just go hide somewhere until the army breaks in?"
True, she's no warrior, but she's holding herself together decently well. Tash said, "No, Chantelle. Dooch confirmed what I had been guessing. Zorexis is impersonating you to get to the King. To become King."
Chantelle made fists and shuddered. A sob shook her and tears tracked down her face. "How could he just use me like this? He said he loved me! But it was all lies. Lies."
And then, a moment after I give her credit, she turns back into a blob of spoiled gelatin.
Séa nodded drunkenly. "Lies're evil. Like I tol' Friar Obel. I'ze right."
Chantelle's glance strayed to the kitchen floor and her eyes widened. Her hands flew to her mouth. "No! Blast him! He took my bags! My dresses!"
Tash attempted to inject some briskness into the maudlin. "Well, he won't need them long. Soon enough he'll impersonate the King and rule Omnius in the name of Roach Lord Whatshisface."
"Gluzzik." Séa hiccupped.
"Gluzzik." The rogue inclined her head to the weaving paladin. All she lacked to be a cartoon drunk were fizzy bubbles forming and popping around her head. Tash addressed Chantelle, "So demons will control the most powerful kingdom this side of the sea. We are scheduled to be rounded up and dragged to the Abyss, presumably by some force of demons. It would be very bad for them if the real Chantelle escaped now." Tash hardened her voice. "They will definitely kill us. Hiding is not an option."
"Don't wanna hide," Séa slurred. "I can't hide anyway, can I, Tash? I'm too big an' flashy an' loud."
A pale Chantelle protested, "Why can't we? The magic door — its barrier is impenetrable."
"What barrier?" Tash said pointedly.
The party spun to regard the door. No magical shimmer protected it.
"Oh, shit!" The princess's hands flew to her hair in dismay.
Ghomarck grunted, and the fuzz patches above his eyes danced.
Come on, people, keep up. Tash said, "Likely, the brazier of gems powered the door shield. What the remaining brazier of gems powers, I don't know. My guess is the killer vines in the moat, but time will tell."
"She's so smart!" Séa gushed, "An' beautiful an' talented an' bendable. Selfish, too, an' she steals things, which is wrong, wrong, wrong, but somehow I can't get mad at her too much and—"
"Séa!" Tash made claws of her hands and pantomimed tearing her hair out. "Shush, all right? The more I think about it, I think we don't have much time. It sounded like we four were to be dragged to the Abyss, and soon. That portal could vomit forth a troop of demons any second."
