Nick and Charlie|heartstopper

Heartbreak feels like this

Charlie POV:
I was waiting for Nick to come over, he had school today but I took the day off for my mental health, like I do every so often. I get a "ding" from my phone and it's Nick, he said that he is almost here. I just sit on the couch scrolling through tumblr for a minute. I hear the doorbell ring and it's Nick! As soon as I open the door he gives me a long kiss, and then we hug for at least 30 seconds.
"What was that for" I chuckled
"Crappy day, and I mean really Crappy"
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Not really"
So we just hug tighter and I give him a peck on the cheek to cheer him up a bit.

Nick pov:

I feel really shitty because of a rumor that's going around about me at school. Everyone is saying that I cheated on Charlie, which is true and I feel like a dick. You know that girl Imogene at the girls school, I was at one of Harry's party's and we were drunk and she just started to make out with me. I didn't pull away. I just stood there. Like a moron. This was this weekend and it's all anyone is talking about at school. I had to tell Char myself. We end up going upstairs and watching a movie, moonlight, his favorite. During the move I'm almost crying, just thinking about how I'm going to tell Charlie. Everything goes through my mind, he's going to hate me, he's going to break up with me, he's going to have a relapse. I take a deep breath and start to talk, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
"Charlie, you know Imogen from Higgs?"
"Yeah, what about her?"
"I was at one of Harry's stupid parties, getting drunk."
Charlie looks at me with tears in his eyes "just get to the point."
I look down, I can't take watching his face.

Charlie pov:
Nick looks down, avoiding eye contact. My eyes well up even more now.
"She started to make out with me, I didn't pull away. I didn't do anything. I was in shock." He pauses as I start to fully ball my eyes out.
At this point I lose it. "Mate, what the FUCK!" I say as my eyes are balling out crying.

Nick pov:
I know how hurt Charlie is because he called me mate. I hate how much I hurt him. I love him so much.
"I'm sorry I'm so sorry." I say crying my eyes out.
"Was this what was going around school?" Charlie says
"Yes" I say looking down feeling awful
Then he rushes into the bathroom still crying and locks the door behind him.
"Char, please open, can we just talk about this?" Sounding desperate as I speak
"Don't call me Char, I'm not your Char, your Imogens, so just leave"
I just stand there in pure shock, still balling my eyes out. "Please Charlie... I'm begging you, can we just talk?"
"Just go"
I walk out slowly, when I'm out of his room I run to my car and just sit there. I don't know how long. One hour. Two hours. Maybe even three hours.

Charlie pov:
I hear Nick talking to me through the door, I tell him to just go away. I can't even look at him right now. I am looking through the drawers of my sink, looking for a rubber band. Whenever I have the urge to hurt myself, I pull the rubber band. As I'm looking I find the razors I use. I thought my mom and dad took them all away, but must have forgotten about them. "Fuck" I say under my breath. I give into the compulsive feeling. one, two, three, four. I start to cry even more. Four new cuts, I feel like shit. I unlock the door, I don't know why. It's like I want Nick to come in. Like he hadn't gone away. But instead Tori comes in. She looks at me crying on the floor, with 4 cuts on my leg. She gives me the biggest hug that she has ever given. After that she cleans me up, no questions asked. Then I start to cry as we are sitting down.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I screw everything up."
"No you don't, you don't screw anything up."
I look at her and give her a hug, just like the one that Nick gave me this morning.