Love You to Death~a Johnlock fanfic

Its real.

I guess that were boyfriends now. Last night I was lying on the couch just thinking when he came in. I just felt this erratic pull towards him and just exclaimed,
"Here! Now!"
I heavily overthought that. He doesn't think I was mad, did he? Anyways, he came over and I grabbed his hand and scooted over. I let go and put my arm in a curved position on the side of the couch.
"Please lay down," I said softly.
He did as I asked, and I found my head on his shoulder and my arm around his neck. I could hear his deep breath.
"I love you." I said with a sigh.
I didn't really know what else to say. It was true. It was the only thing I could say.
"I love you too, my love" he said smiling.
Wow. The love of my life, the only reason I haven't just ended it all for thirteen years and he just called me his love. It felt amazing. Surreal. But the beauty of it all is that it was real, and I felt it. I felt every living bit of it. Then I had a terrible thought. What if something happened to him? What if he dies and it's all my fault? Even if I didn't have anything to do with it, it would always be my fault because I'm supposed to protect him. That's my job. He's the one thing that will always matter over everything and everyone else. God, I love that man.