My Dear, Abagail

𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓣𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮

The wedding is right around the corner. This day has been busier than the last. Mrs. Davis and my mother have been running around the house, arranging flowers and making sure the food will be prepared for tomorrow. It's near the end of the day as I sit in my room, sketching in my journal when I hear a light knock on the door.

"Come in," I responded, not looking away from my journal. The door slowly opens, and the person softly closes the door.

"Hi, Willow," Abagail speaks up. I turn to look at her and smile. "Are you okay?"

"I'm better now," I smile and get up from my desk. Abagail stands at the foot of my bed. "How are you?" I ask, remembering how she started tearing up last night.

"Could be better," She chuckles lightly. "Can I just stay here for a while?"

I smile at her, "Of course," She sits at the foot of my bed, and I lay next to her. She holds my hand tightly and looks at me.

"I wish I could be with you without having to hide you." Her voice cracks. "It's like I'm living a life of lies. I wish we didn't have to live like this." A tear escapes from her eye but I quickly wipe it away before it can make it any further.

"We won't have to live like this for much longer. We'll run off together."

She smiles and lays her forehead against mine, "And I can't wait to do that. With you, my life is better." We stay there in the same spot talking about events in our lives that were either hilarious or life changing. It felt like time stopped as if God gave us time to savour this moment together. After hours of non-stop talking, the sun was already down, and the owls were hooting. In the middle of our laughter, someone banged on my bedroom door.

"Come on in," I stifle a laugh in between each word. Samantha opens the door and lets herself in. "Samantha, what brings you here?" I stood up from the end of my bed after falling off it.

"Your father asked for you in his study," Samantha says softly. I turn to Abagail, "I've got to go, but I'll see you later."

"Take your time. My mother probably wants me to get ready for bed anyway." Abagail leaves before me and Samantha leads the way to my father's study. I knock and open his office door. "It's me," I announce myself. Something in the office felt off. The air seemed thin and the firepit glowed brighter than ever. Father sat at his desk; his forehead rested in his hands as if he were trying to get rid of a horrible headache.

"What is this?" He pushes a piece of paper to the front of his desk. I walk closer to the piece of paper to see what it is. My heart drops. How did he get it?

"I- I don't know," I stutter. My breathing deepens.

"Allow me to read it for you," he clears his throat, "'She is everything yet something that I can't have. All I must do is wait. Wait until I can run. Runaway from this cruel world with her in my hand.'" He puts the piece of paper onto his desk and continues. "Who is she?" He looks me in the eyes, but I avoid him by looking off into the distance. "Perhaps you didn't hear me. Who is she!" He gradually gets louder.

I held in my tears and hesitantly looked at him. "I don't know," I clean my throat, trying to not make my voice crack. "Maybe it's James' note."

"It's not his. Do you know how I know?" He comes from around his desk, towards me. "Do you know how I know!" He leans his face towards mine, spits flying from his mouth. "I know from Samantha! She found the note in your drawer." He points at Samantha then backs up. He pulls on his hair like he's losing his mind. "At first it didn't make sense. I thought, 'That is not my Willow.' Then everything connected. You continuously sneak around with Abagail. How you reacted to the story of Arthur last night." Now his eyes are tearing up, but not from sorrow.

From rage.

"Is this 'she' Abagail?" He calms down a little. I lightly shook my head no. "Is it Abagail? God damn it!" He slams his desk so hard that whatever was left over from his bourbon spilt.

"No," I said. Father lets out a low chuckle, "Yes, it is. God damn it, don't you lie to me, child." He hits his desk once again and points at me. "It is her because you and I both know that you don't talk to anyone outside of this household." I couldn't hold it in anymore. My tears release themselves from my eyes. "Do not you lie to me. Is it her? There is no point in lying, I already know it's her. I just want you to admit it. Is. It. Her?"

I feel defeated and overwhelmed. "Yes," I whisper. He pauses. "I said yes! It is her!" I repeated, "But Father, I have never felt happier. She makes me feel like the happiest person in this whole God-forsaken world. Can't you just accept that?" I stop myself before going any further. My breathing quickened as I played with my dress, nervous about what would happen next. Then the only sound that filled the room was a loud smack, and not from Father hitting his desk. From hitting me. A hint of blood fills the inside of my mouth, and my right cheek feels like it's on fire. My eyes are filled with shock. Father had never hit me before.

"How dare you," he spits on the ground. "Did your mother and I not give you enough happiness in your life that you decide to turn to a girl to help you out? You disgust me. Your mother and I never raised you into... into... this! Get out!" Father rips the paper and throws it in the fire.

"No!" I scream and run to the fire pit. It's gone. I planned to give that to her before we left. I was supposed to confess my love to her with that note, and now it's gone.

"You disgust me. Get out." He moves to behind his desk. Yet, I don't move. Instead, I stay still. I know that what I did was foul, but I can't help myself. Mother and Father told me that you know love is true once you feel like you can't live without them. What difference do I and Abagail make?

"I said get out!" He roars, "You are no longer my daughter. I don't care where you go, just leave Abagail out of this. You manipulated her into making her do this. Get out!" That's when I get out, leaving Samantha behind. How dare she go through my things. How dare she do anything. I make my way to my room where I meet Abagail standing in the hall with confusion covering her face.

"Willow, what happened?" She looked at me with confusion. Hot tears ran down my face. I walk past her, not wanting to make her or myself in deeper trouble and slam my door. I slide down the oak door, trying to hold in my weeping cries. I've never felt a large amount of pain. I've never felt this amount of aching in my chest, stomach, and heart. Up until now.

Why must I be like this? I ponder. Even though I'm putting myself in harm's way, I can't help but still love Abagail even more.