𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 | 𝐲.𝐦.

36

Yoongi isn't one to express his feelings. He never learned how to communicate them. For so long, his father taught him that expressing your emotions and your feelings is wrong and useless.

Caring is a disadvantage.

Not too long ago, Yoongi thought so too, hating the thought of emotions or feelings distracting him. It almost felt like a sin that needed harsh punishment. How many times has he shouted at his men after they talked about their loved ones? Countless times. How many times has he used this to his advantage? Countless times.

Simply threatening a loved one always works.

However, after Jimin came into his life, a lot of things changed. Not only Yoongi's way of treating people, but also his personality and the way he sees things have changed. He's much more careful around the people he cherishes and he tries his best to work on expressing himself. Jimin showed him that even the smallest things can bring joy.

Feelings and emotions are what make life worth living and although feelings do indeed distract you sometimes, it's amazing to be constantly thinking about the person you love and cherish.

Yes, Yoongi has fallen in love with Jimin.

Unfortunately, Yoongi's father wasn't entirely wrong. Feelings do make you weak, vulnerable and if your loved ones are in danger, you feel helpless. Yoongi now knows exactly how it feels and he never, ever wants to experience something like this again. It felt like someone was ripping his heart from his chest, playing with it as if it's a toy and eventually crushing it into hundreds of pieces.

Watching Jimin fight for his life underwater and eventually lose was torture. Not feeling a pulse and not hearing a single breath leave Jimin's lips broke him to pieces. Nothing has ever been so painful. And it's all his fault. He needs to live with the guilt for the rest of his life. He's still picking up the pieces.

Yet, feelings can also make you stronger and help you overcome difficult times and hurdles. It gives you strength if you think you're at your limit and it gives you the needed push to move on. Love has the ability to make you feel on top of the world, but it can also feel like you're losing control to something bigger than yourself. You might find yourself feeling overwhelmed, even obsessed, when all you think about is that person. Suddenly, you become aware that if you ever lose that person, your life might change significantly, so it's normal to feel a mix of emotions and feelings.

Ever since Jimin left, although he knows that it's only temporary, Yoongi has been miserable. He's been worrying nonstop about him, while simultaneously drowning in guilt, blaming himself and trying to hold everything together. He's not even entirely sure if he wants Jimin to come back into his life, although his heart clenches painfully at the thought of Jimin never returning to his arms.

If Jimin comes back, the risk that something happens to him again will always be there. And Yoongi doesn't know if he can or wants to live with that certainty.

He wants to be selfish and keep Jimin by his side, so he can be happy but on the other hand, he loves Jimin so much that he can't bear the thought of him getting hurt again. Memories of Jimin's kidnapping haunt Yoongi every day. He feels horrible for letting Jimin get into this situation, horrible for breaking his promise to always protect him from harm.

Jackson and he have been enemies for so long. Why didn't he think about that? Of course, Jackson knows his mansion by heart. He couldn't have made it easier for him to take Jimin. Maybe it's better if Yoongi would let him go, cut all ties with him. This way, he could protect Jimin, but he'd be alone. Again.

If all of that wasn't enough, his father transferred a huge chunk of money to his account without any explanation. He's been MIA for the last few weeks after a street fight at one of his bases. Yoongi's tried calling but the old man hasn't returned his calls.