The Painter and Her Muse

The Truth

Ava's POV

I'm not good at lying. Every time I'm hanging out with freen, I wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted tell her that Becky isn't in a good shape. That Becky shaved her head. That everyday her body keeps getting weak. That everyday, beck longed for her. But I can't see her in that position. Not again.

5 years ago...

Lexi, Carla and I flew to go to Massachusetts for Becky's birthday.

"I really think it's a bad idea to lie to freen about Becky's condition" Carla said.

"Agreed" Lexi said and they're both looking at me

"We are not telling her anything" I said while unpacking my stuff

"What if.. what if Becky won't make it?" Carla said

" or what if she makes it and freen is not there? She gave her a letter for a reason" Lexi added

"A letter she didn't want to read." I said "because she's scared."

"We have to tell her! She deserves to know what's going on! That's literally her girlfriend's life in the line, Ava!" Carla said and started yelling

"WE! ARE! NOT! TELLING! HER! ANYTHING!"

"My god Ava! Get over her, she never liked you! She never wanted to be with you ava! Wake the fuck u—" I couldn't hold it so I slapped Carla

"How dare you?!" I said, Lexi tried to get in between us.. I decided to seat in the couch and started crying

"I'm selfish, I know that! You think I wanted this? You think I want to lie in her face?!" When Carla saw that i started crying her facial expression gotten soft

"You didn't see her when she lost her mom! You two weren't there! But I was!

...I was there! I saw how much she was hurting! Yes I do love her! But don't ever use my feelings for her against me. I never wanted this."

Carla and Lexi started kneeling in front of me and hugged me

"s..she almost killed herself when she lost her mom..." I said in whisper

"W..what?" Carla and Lexi both said in shocked

"She was.. suicidal. She told me to never talk about this with anyone. She doesn't want anyone to pity her... she's been through a lot. I can't see her like that again...

...yes I'm jealous of Becky because she was able to experience to be loved by freen. I'm always just the bestfriend. The shoulder to cry on but I will never be her lover. I've accepted that the day I almost lost her because she doesn't need me to be her gf, she needed a friend. A friend who will listen when she's crying for help."

"I'm sorry" Carla said and started wiping my tears "I'm sorry for being insensitive" I just chuckled

"I'm not sorry for slapping you tho" we started laughing..

When Becky and Freen were officially together, I was hurt but at the same time I'm happy for them. Especially for her. I've known that Becky have cancer way before we went to vacation for our sembreak...

*A week before sembreak*

I was about to leave when I noticed, I left my boxing gloves.. yea I do kickboxing with Becky that's why we somehow we became friends..