The Painter and Her Muse

Numb Little Bug

A/N: hi! Sorry y'all 😭 I know some chapters are sad, bare with me. I don't want this story to be just cheesy😂 khob khun 🫶🏽

TRIGGER WARNING: PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

‼️Reader discretion is advised. This chapter contain suicide or self-harm topics‼️

Freen's POV

I haven't gone out of my condo for a week now. My phone has been dead for a week now as well. Last time I was like this was when my mom started suffering from cancer and when she died...

AT THE HOSPITAL

My mom has been staying in the hospital for two weeks now. The doctors are still looking for a donor that can match my mom's HLA type for bone marrow transplant.

My dad and aunt Anastasia is covering for our expenses. They even want to bring mom out of this country and seek for a very professional doctor but my mom doesn't want too.. I kept convincing her to accept the help and she just kept telling me that she wouldn't make it.

She's so selfish, I'm over here fighting for her life but she wouldn't even help herself. How can I fight for her when she already gave up?

I know she's suffering but I'm suffering too. I don't know who to talk to, I don't know who to ask for help. It's like I'm screaming but no one can hear me.

It became my normal life cycle to go straight at the hospital after school to check on my mom, to make sure shes eating, taking her medications. There's one time I found out that she wasn't taking her medication for a week. It's like she really wanted to die, the medication was supposed to help her protect her body's normal cells from chemo. It hurts seeing her like that. All I want for her is to fight but she already accepted her defeat.

Every time I'd get home, I'd cry myself to sleep. One day I got tired of crying, it's like I'm numb but at the same time I can feel the pain all over my body.

...

I was cutting fruits that I was going to bring at the hospital for my mom when I accidentally cut myself with the knife. But I didn't feel a single thing though I gasp over the fact that it made me feel good seeing blood. I ignored that feeling and rushed to wash my hands and covered my finger with band aid.

I was about to head out when I saw dad and aunt Anastasia walking towards me. I didn't expect that they'll come and visit because usually they would tell me before.

"Hi dad" I said and kissed him on the cheek I was about to hug aunt Anastasia when she grabbed me and started crying

"I'm sorry sweetheart"

"h..huh?" I said confusingly.

She faced me and said, "she... uh..." she's trying to hold back her tears, she frustratedly massaged her temple my dad grabbed me and took me back inside out house and we sat at the couch.

"Freen..." he said and held my hand after he let go of a huge sigh "she's gone.."

"w..wha—n..no... no no.. s..she's not" I said and took my hand, I was about to go and run outside when aunt Anastasia grabbed me and hugged me tightly as she was crying..

...

After my mom's burial, I went straight home. I've already told my dad that I want to stay in our house even if he offered me to live with them. When I got home, all I feel is anger, sadness, frustration...I feel every emotions eating me up and my body is getting overwhelmed, my body is getting cold. I sat in the corner of our living room and hugged myself as I was crying..