Judge My Skills, Not Me

Chapter 18: Practice Makes Perfect

Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish

Cristina laid on her bed as she tried to forget about the magazines and newspapers. It seemed to become more of a habit these days. Charlotte was sent to her house the day she arrived from Roma and gave her the longest lecture about 'how could you ruin everything we've worked for,' and 'do you think this PR stuff is a joke?'. And, honestly, Cristin couldn't care less. Cristina threw her phone into the drawer of her bedside table just to stop hearing it buzz every couple of minutes.

Everyone tried to reach out to her, but she didn't want to hear pity or sympathy. Her parents, Carolina, Alex, Aalyiah, Leo... After the massive fight they had in front of the team, she didn't expect him to want to check up on her. He was right, maybe she didn't understand the implications of tying that game. This was her fuck up like everyone said. "Maybe I wasn't the right choice for this," she said looking up at her ceiling.

"Don't tell me you're giving up that easily," Scott said leaning on the door frame. He couldn't take the self-deprecating aurora of her room. All he saw walking in was Cristina under the covers with her laptop screen shining in her face. Tabs of articles about her meltdown after the game everywhere.

Cristina barely lifted her head from the pillow and looked over at Scott. "I'm not in the mood for a pep talk today, Scott."

"Well got thing this isn't a pep talk," Scott said yanking the covers off of Cristina as she yelled in protest. "It's a wake-up call."

"Look, I don't want any of your 'get them next time, champ,' or any other inspirational speech you ripped off of a Denzel Washington movie," Cristina said throwing the nearest pillow at him. "Just leave me alone."

"First of all, do not disrespect Denzel and his work in Remember the Titans. It's a classic," Scott said catching her pathetic excuse of a throw. "Second, what happened to the determined and confident girl I picked from the airport a couple of months ago?" Cristina rolled her eyes and turned away from him. "Did she take a vacation, I wasn't made aware of, or are you just hiding her behind that depressing mood you're in?"

"Stop it!" Cristina said getting up. "Can you just leave me alone!"

"There it is! There's the fire missing all along," Scott said collecting her training bag from the floor. "Now, let's get you onto the pitch and use it."

Cristina gave out a defeated breath, "Look, Scott. I appreciate the effort and everything, but I think I'm done with training for a while."

"Don't be ridiculous. You love this sport! Sure you fell off the bike a couple of times, but you need to just try again," he said with a softer tone. He hated seeing her like this. After getting back from Rome, Cristina didn't even acknowledge Scott or Ben. She went to the fridge, grabbed a pint of ice cream, and stayed in her room for two days straight. Ben would occasionally leave snacks and water, just to make sure she was eating, but no one disturbed her. Even Hunter tried making conversation with her about some movies she should watch, but all Cristina did was lay in her bed with the lights off.

"Of course I love football," Cristina said sitting up a bit, "But I don't think football loves me back." Sure it sounded dramatic, but everyone in the sport was calling her a waste of time and resources for Barcelona. They painted every effort she made into a big spectacle and blew everything out of proportion. "Today, talent can only get you so far. You have to smile for the cameras, and know what you can and can't say, or be the spokesperson for not only yourself but the team," she continued. "At least when I was playing in the US, the worst I got was articles calling me 'outrageous' for wanting equal pay."

"Okay, so the press has been a bit more hostile lately," Scott said. Cristina looked at him with an unconvinced look. "Okay, maybe very hostile. Who knows maybe next week they'll write an article about you hating babies, just to put the final nail in the coffin." Cristina put a pillow over her head trying to block out the rest of this conversation. "But, you need to get back out there." Cristina fidgeted with the pillow in her hand not responding. Scott snatched the pillow from her grasp. "Cristina, you can't just cower in your room. You need to be strong, for not only yourself but every little girl out there looking up to you."