Dreams of You

Chapter 26

Adrien

He should've listened to Nino and his instincts and left this damned apartment as soon as everyone had been gathered.

He should've never brought Marinette here in the first place!

He was a fool for thinking he could break free of the butterfly's influence. Being bound by his father for most of his life, Adrien should've known better than anyone how impossible that was.

His feeble attempts to resist weren't strong enough. He wasn't strong enough. Yes, he stalled and delayed and fought back, but he still obeyed, still took those steps, still called for the Cataclysm and almost killed everyone he ever cared for.

He almost killed Marinette, the woman he wouldn't hesitate to give up his own life for.

Adrien's hands shook, the terror in her eyes as he was lowering his Cataclysm to her face still fresh in his memory. If she hadn't escaped... If she hadn't awakened Tikki and transformed...

Adrien swallowed.

He was supposed to protect her.

He—

"Adrien?"

Marinette's touch was gentle, her smile—soft. Her gaze hadn't lost its warmth, filled with worry and love he didn't deserve.

"I'll come by tomorrow morning as soon as I wake up, okay?"

She shouldn't. He wasn't worthy of her presence. Adrien still nodded. Like a lovesick schoolboy, he needed her now more than ever. Needed to hold her in his arms, needed to know she was safe and sound, needed to hope that if he did his best, if he'd be good enough, she would forgive him one day.

She even kissed his cheek and gave him one of the most earnest hugs she'd ever given him as she left with her parents for the night.

Adrien could hardly breathe. How could he claim to love this woman, if he had just almost killed her with his own two hands?

Despicable!

Pathetic.

Weak...

They were all still alive only because Marinette had awakened Tikki and got full access to her powers. He was only—

"Adrien?"

He looked away. He didn't need Nino's pity. He didn't deserve his sympathy. He should've been smarter than to submit to Lila.

"Adrien, stop. You—"

"I want to be left alone," Adrien murmured and headed for his bedroom. "See you tomorrow, Nino."

Whatever else Nino said fell on deaf ears as Adrien closed the door behind himself. Leaning on a wall, he swallowed the knot in his throat.

His fault.

This whole fiasco was his fault.

His legs gave in. Adrien slid down to the floor, curling in on himself.

He failed her.

He failed all of them.

He was a failure with an oversized ego and poor choices.

Wrapping his hands around his head, Adrien let go. Tears streamed down his face; sounds of despair escaped his lips.

He was a weakling. He couldn't protect the one he loved. With his own hands, hands that should've kept her safe, he almost killed Marinette today...

Someone lightly knocked on the door.

"Leave me alone," Adrien groaned.

"I will," Nino's quiet voice sounded from behind the door. "But before I go, I just wanted to tell you that you did well today. I know it doesn't seem this way, but you did exceptionally. Without you, we wouldn't have won."