my brothers best freind

2. Numb

I woke up
Already i felt the rush off sadness.
i had an idea.
I walked towards my desk and i knudged the side off the wood off there it was my stash off happiness (drugs) i quickly put a pill in my mouth and flicked it down my throat. I got ready for the day.
My pupils had gone big i was worried if draco found out.
I went to the great hall to get some orange juice i walked in and already pansy shouted me to come and sit with everyone i grabbed my water and went and sat down.
Everyone stared at me
"what" i asked.
"are you high" theo asked.
"no" i sighed
"your on drugs again?" pansy asked concerned.
" your saying it like i have a drug problem" i replied.
draco stared at me.
and mattheo just looked and half smiled.
"why's everyone so silent" i asked.
"y/n your going down the hill again we don't like seeing you like this" blaise muttered.
" well then you don't have to see me then" i smiled sarcastically and grabbed my water and walked off.
i sat on the astronomy tower sat on the edge i grabbed a cig and lit it.
i heard footsteps walking towards me.
"hi princess" mattheo smirked.
"what do you want" i asked not taking my eyes off the view.
he took my cig out off my mouth and smoked it.
"y/n can i ask you something?" he sat next to me.
"anything if you really want to" i said.
"why are you doing this to yourself " he asked genuinely concerned.
"to not feel anything" i muttered.
" i know i may only be your brothers best freind but i'm always here love" he smiled.
i stayed silent not knowing what to say or do.
he placed his hand on mine and stroked the back off my hand with his thumb
"iv never seen this side off you mattheo" i wondered
"your a special girl y/n" he said.
I just smiled

It had been a week i have lost myself completely i don't go out off my room and i haven't changed my clothes or brushed my hair my pills and empty bottles are everywhere.

I hear a light knock at the door.
"who is it" i groan.
"mattheo" he shouts
"what do you want" i ask
"well i don't want to talk through a door" he laughs
"whatever come in" i reply
he walks in and his face drops
"you look like you seen a ghost" i jokingly say
"y/n... no you can't do this to yourself. i won't let you" he looks into my eyes.
i just look away not knowing what to do , say or think.
he walks to my bathroom and turns on the bath he puts petals and bubbles in and places some fresh clothes on the side.
"is your bathroom not working" i ask confused.
"my bathrooms fine it's for you i want to help you
y/n" he replies.
"mattheo really you don't have to" i say
"no i must" he replies quickly.
i go and get in the bath and just sit there for a little while.
"y/n you have been in there for two hours are you okay?" he says with a shaken voice.
i walk out the bathroom in some jeans a top and a denim jacket.
"y-you cleaned my room and organised everything..." i say.
"sorry do u not like it? i can put it all back if you want" he says.
"no no mattheo that's the sweetest thing anyones ever done" i smile.
he pulls me in for a hug stroking my hair all i can think is how safe i feel in his arms and i know my feelings are growing for him but it can never happen.

We pull the hug away and he stares into my eyes i place my fingers on the scar near his eyebrow.
"you have a unique scar" i say softly.
he still is staring into my eyes.
he leans in and i can feel his soft lips push against mine i didn't pull back...
He pulled back
"i-i need to go" he runs.