⚝ Faolan's Shifter Journal ⚝ (OLD! SEE LAST CHAPTER)

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⭒⸼⁺〭 ⚝ ⸢ what's been going on ⸥ ⚝⸼°⭒⸼⁺

⁺⭒°⸼ ⸢ So, I've had a lot of time to focus on sorting things out, and I'm certain now of what's been happening. I think I've finally fixed it, too.

When I was in elementary/middle school, my frenemy was very into magic. She did pretty much everything for her own personal gain, and that extended to her idea of witchcraft as well. We did it together, I remember writing spells and saving spells i found online onto my mp3 player so we could try them later.

As i might have mentioned before, she wanted what i was capable of. She was obsessed with trying to make herself look the coolest, or most experienced, or smartest, or most gifted. Yknow, the "main character syndrome" type. me learning that I was actually a wolf in a human body, and learning how to shift, drove her crazy because eventually I could show her real, physical proof that she couldn't one up.

I'm 100% certain that she used magic/put a curse on me to prevent me from finding out my true identity and potential in my CL. I know she's the same person I had to deal with in my RL, I don't know if she remembers but I know she could see what I am even though I don't have my abilities in CL. Ever since I last chased her out of my life, my sense of self has been clouded and I've been unable to focus on who i really am through a curtain of rapidly changing aesthetics that seem to lose all importance once i feel comfortable in them.

I can see through it now, and while I don't think i got rid of everything, I can see myself clearly again.

I'm going to be making a new journal, because most of what I thought was the truth when i wrote it here is wrong. I'll post a final update to this one once I make a new journal! I want to keep this stuff for posterity's sake, but it's not right to have it be the first thing people see when they open my journal when I know none of it was written with a clear mind. ⸥⭒⸼⁺⭑

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