She sat watching him intently, trying to find any change in his face.
It is hard to see anyone who has become like your own body to you.
- Willa Cather, from "Neighbour Rosicky," Collected Stories (Vintage, 1992)
chapter fourteen: tommy's alive? november 14, 2023
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ELLIE FOLLOWED TESS into an old building, hunkering down while the girl tried to see the best she could in the dark. Joel dropped his bag near the chairs and Tess took a seat, "were here for the night, get some sleep if you can." Ellie's eyes followed Joel who turned around and grabbed Alejandra's hand whose brain recognized she was safe and a sob came from deep in her throat, Joel was quick to walk her out of the room. "Where are they going? Is she okay?" Ellie asked, pointing her finger to the couple and Tess leaned over. "Doesn't matter." Ellie rose her eyebrows, "well, she's a FEDRA agent so..."
"You know Theary Walter?" Ellie furrowed her eyebrows, "yeah?" The girl sat down in the middle of the room on her jacket. "Alejandra was the one told Theary to join the Fireflies." Ellie furrowed her eyebrows, "why?" Ellie asked, "so Joel and I could have a safe schedule when we take clients... When Alex's team was on watch, that's when we would go." Ellie nodded her head while she looked back to where Alejandra and Joel disappeared from. "Right... And the man from earlier wasn't apart of her team?"
Ellie saw Tess' body shrug forward in response, "obviously, Ellie." Ellie whispered to herself while sighing. "Get some sleep, you say?" She asked while laying her head down on her backpack. "Good night."
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"IT'S OKAY, IT'S okay..." Joel told Alejandra who was stood inside one of the rooms. Breathing heavy with her hands on her knee's and body hunched forward. Joel had her ponytail wrapped around his fist, other hand rubbing her back as she vomited into the grown grass through the cracked concrete. "God- he's gone." Alejandra cried loudly while she slowly sunk down on her bottom. Rubbing her hand on her thigh while Joel squatted down and his hand grabbed under her chin, Alejandra's erratic eyes slowly finding their way to his.
"He's dead. He shot himself." Alejandra whispered as if needing to remind Joel. "He did what he needed to do. You wouldn't want him out there as one of them. He's with the girls now, okay? They have him." Alejandra held her hand up to her lips as another wretched sob came from the depths of her throat. Ellie's eyes shot open at the sound and Tess sat up, the noise could be mistaken for the infected, but when Ellie pushed her way up to listen she heard Alejandra's cries.
"Joey- I can't breathe." Alejandra panicked while her hand held over her chest, head quickly looking up to the broken ceiling while she felt the cool breeze of the wind on her face, drying her tears and making her face stiff. Joel sat down, crossing his legs while he held her face in his cold hands. "Look at me" Joel told her and Alejandra found his eyes, "we knew one day that this was going to happen. It's a big possibility it will happen to you, to me, to Tess... We know that." Alejandra nodded her head in response, her eyes still glued to his. "But it doesn't change the fact that it still hurts."
