She sat watching him intently, trying to find any change in his face.
It is hard to see anyone who has become like your own body to you.
- Willa Cather, from "Neighbour Rosicky," Collected Stories (Vintage, 1992)
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ELLIE WAS SAT against the rotting wall, turquoise wallpaper ripping from its once secure home, showing the ugly brown underneath. A butterfly knife in her hands as she flipped it back and forth, eyes focused intently to not catch it on the wrong side and inevitable cut herself. "Where'd you learn to do that?" Joel asked the first question, "the circus." Alejandra licked her tongue over her teeth to keep her from having a reaction that would feed into Ellie's humor. Joel silently lifted his head, glancing gently over his shoulder to Alejandra who was leaned against the wall.
He sat up "¿Por qué no te sientas? - Why don't you sit?" Ellie stopped flipping the knife once hearing the language. Then she leaned forward and tucked her legs in a criss crossed shape. "When'd you get married?" Ellie asked, seeing the matching gold bands on both their ring fingers. "We're not married." Both answered in union and Ellie rose her eyebrows, looking back down to the rings and Alejandra followed her eyesight. "It's unspoken." She chuckled, smile showing her teeth while she turned to look at Joel who had a blank stare to his face.
"He asked me in 1990, then in 2000, then in 2003..." Ellie's lips grew the longer Alejandra listed the years. "And why'd you say no?" Ellie asked, looking to Joel who looked down to his wet boots. Blinking slowly, "because I was already in a relationship." She answered, "that sure stopped you." Joel mumbled under his breath and Alejandra's smile dropped while she looked at him. "No, we aren't married." Alejandra answered Ellie's question while she folded her hands in front of her lap, "sientas - sit." Joel told Alejandra one last time while she pushed off from the wall and moved around Joel, taking a seat next to him while he leaned back against the wall. "Where'd you learn Spanish?" Ellie asked slowly, trying to make conversation.
Joel scoffed under his breath, eyes squinted and before he could come back with a rebuttal he felt Alejandra's eyes on him. "Our parents." Alejandra answered, "¿Puedes ser educado? Es una niña. - Can you be polite? She's a kid." Alejandra spoke fast and quiet under her breath and Ellie watched as Joel rose his eyebrows in response, "we're you born in the QZ?" Alejandra asked Ellie who slowly nodded her head as if she was disappointed. "Yep." She popped the p sound with her chapped lips, biting at the skin after. "How about you guys?" Ellie asked, "where'd you come from?" Alejandra went quiet and Joel took it as his que to answer.
"Texas. She was born in Mexico." Alejandra slowly nodded her head once Joel nudged his head backwards, "I wonder what it's like there... We learned a little about it in school but not so much that anything stuck." Alejandra had her hand gripping at her left thigh, unknowing that she was rubbing at the skin while Joel kept his eyes on it. "I don't remember it that much. I moved to Texas when I was a kid and we never went back but Joel was supposed to take me." Ellie looked back to Joel once seeing Alejandra have a small smile on her lips, nudging her leg out while it gently hit his shin, "so you guys grew up together?" Ellie asked and both of them hummed in response. "That's cool..." Ellie's tone turned hopeful, "so..." Ellie picked at her nails, looking to Alejandra through her eyelashes.
