Summary: You're very clingy, but when you overhear Bucky complain about it, you pull away.
Word count: 2.1k
A/n: Physical touch is my love language :)
—
You squeal as you jump at Bucky when he gets home and he smiles as he wraps his arms around you. "Hi doll," he says, exhaustion laced in his voice and eyes from a long day of working. You give him a quick kiss before letting him go lay down and recharge until dinner comes.
"I ordered Chinese, that okay?" You ask and he nods his head with a hum as he kisses your forehead before walking to your room and laying down head first on the bed.
You walk in and make him roll over so you can take his vest off and help him get more comfortable. You take his combat boots off and head to the bathroom. Grabbing a cold, wet cloth, you walk back to him and press it against his forehead gently.
"Thank you, doll," he says as he reaches up and brushes some hair behind your ear. You smile sweetly at him before kissing his cheek and then leaving the room, letting him have time to relax.
As you finish dinner and set a good amount of food on your plate and his, you hear him walk out. "Smells good," he says as he comes over and kisses the top of your head.
"Did you have a good nap?" You ask and he lets out a grunt as he shakes his head. "No I couldn't sleep," he says and you frown slightly as you hand him his plate.
"I'm sorry," you say and he shakes his head as he sits down at the table. "It's alright, doll. Not your fault," he says and you smile as you sit next to him and place your hand on his thigh as you eat together.
After dinner, you wash the dishes while Bucky goes to call Steve and discuss what they're supposed to do tomorrow. You finish washing the dishes and go over to lay with Bucky in your room, but stop outside of the room when you hear what he's talking about.
"No it's not that Steve. I just wish she wouldn't be so clingy, especially when I'm tired," he says and you frown as you step away from the room and go over to sit in the couch.
You turn the tv on, hoping it'll interrupt your thoughts that race through your mind. Surrounding your brain with a big, ugly storm cloud filled with negative thoughts about you and how you act around Bucky.
In the past, you've been told that you're too clingy. But you never thought you were being clingy with Bucky. You always thought that he liked it, but apparently he doesn't because he's complaining about you to his best friend. Physical touch is just something you need, growing up you didn't get any physical touch or affection from your parents. It's something that's important to you and it makes you feel safe and it helps you realize that you're not losing the person you're with. But you can't lose Bucky. You can't survive without him.
A few more minutes pass by before Bucky comes into the main room and sits next to you on the couch. You smile at him before turning your attention back to the tv, but you can feel him staring at you.
He scoots a bit closer to you and you stand up and head to the bathroom. Leaving Bucky on the couch alone and confused for a moment, but he brushes it off and continues to watch the movie you had put on.
—
That night, you stayed awake while Bucky slept peacefully next to you. He's laying on his side with his back facing you. Resisting the urge to reach out and touch him, you roll over so your back is facing his. Still, it's not enough and you decide to go sit in the bathroom.
With your head in your hands, you sit on the toilet and let yourself quietly cry. More thoughts and questions run throughout your mind and you try really hard to drown them, but they keep swimming up to breach the surface.
