Broken - Carlos Sainz

2

'It's lights out and away we go' I didn't want any headphones to watch the race. But I can picture that sentence in my head when the lights turn off.
Arthur is sitting next to me, his eyes are locked onto the screen.

"I am quite surprised you are here. In all aspects." He says as he glances over towards me. I shrug and scroll through my Instagram feed.

The paparazzi pictures that got made earlier when Charles, Pierre, Max and I where talking are everywhere. They even shared them on their feed. That actualy warms my heart a little. I am glad I can call them my friends. I know that if I call one of them in the middle of the night they would come over to offer a hand without a doubt.

Arthur frowns a little when I don't answer, while his mom looks at me a little puzzled when she walks in.

"Darling you know you are watching in the Ferrari box?" She asks as I look up to her and flash her a smile. "I've missed you so much." I pull her into a hug and she happily embraces the hug. "I missed you as well darling." She says as she rubs my back.

"You should come over to the Monaco for the race and for some catching up." Arthur says as I sit back down on my seat.

"It could bring you some clossure and all of us will be there." Pascale says as I swallow the lump in my throat away. The crash was in Monaco.. I hate it that Charles lives there and so does Max.. why can't they live in Italy? Monza is such an amazing track. I loved riding there, same goes for Spa. Also one of my favorites.

"Eh.. I don't know about that.." I mumble as I glance over to the screen for a moment. Just at the moment I look up, I see how Carlos takes over a Mercedes. "He could have done that earlier if he would be on the inside." I say softly. Arthur smirks widely and looks at his mom. "She is back. Ladies and gentlemen Lisa the racer is back in town!"

I raise an eyebrow and shake my head as I also laugh a little. "You're crazy" I gently hit his shoulder.
Pascale her eyes show off how proud she is, how thankful she is at the moment.

-

Max won the race, Lewis came in second and Charles came in thrid.
We are watching the award ceremony from the pitbox, I have never been a massive fan of big crowds. When it is not needed, I prefer to stay away from them. My eyes instantly lock with his eyes when he comes in. "Can I borrow her for a second?" Carlos asks Arthur who shrugs.

I narrow my eyes, "I can still speak for myself. No need to ask others that." Pascale lays her hand down onto my leg and gently squeezes it, Pascale has always been there for me she is like a second mom. I take a deep breath and look from her hand back towards Carlos. "I would like to talk somewhere more private if that's okay." He asks calmly. I nod lightly and get of from my seat.

"Will you be okay?" Arthur asks softly when I go past him. I flash him a smile and nod. "I think so, thanks Art."
I follow Carlos through the pitbox towards his drivingroom.

The moment I get in, I see the picture of Carlos together with my brother. My eyes tear up by seeing that. It's a pretty photo it resembles him perfectly. His bright smile, the sparkle in his eyes and that stupid buckethat. Gosh I wish I had that hat. I pick the frame up and turn to look at Calos.

"I love the way he is in this picture." I say softly as I try to fight the tears from running down. There is only one that can make it's way down my cheek. I set the frame down and notice how Carlos is also struggling with his emotions.

"I.." he starts off and takes a deep breath and closes he his eyes for just a second. "I crashed into Tory.. If I didn't crashed into him, he wouldn't have hit the wall." He runs his fingers through his hair and blinks multiple times, trying to cover up his emotions. "It happend so fast.. I wish we could do that day over. I wouldn't have got behind the wheel that day." He murmers as I sit down and pat the place next to me, to let him know that I am okay with him being closer.

"Lisa I am really, really sorry for what happend that day. I couldn't cope with it. I couldn't cope with you being near me. I was an ass, but you look just like him. You have his eyes, his smile, if Tory would be a woman he would definitely be like you. You even have his racing talent." He says as he looks from the picture towards me, but keeps standing up.

"I am sorry for not getting in contact with you. It hurts to see you." He mumbles and looks away.

I know that I look like my brother, we where look a likes. People always assumed that we where twins. But there is still 4 years between us. I get up from the couch and pull Carlos in a tight hug. I place my chin onto his shoulder and close my eyes to fight the tears, that's god damn hard. I gently rub Carlos his back, he is struggling as well.

There are a couple tears falling onto my shoulder which is making me break as well. We stand like this for a couple minutes. It feels good to let it out like this. It feels good to clear the air.
I gently pull away and look into his eyes. "After the funeral I didn't want to see you at all. I was hella mad at you. But I shouldn't have been mad. It could have happend to everyone. It was wrong place at the wrong time." I whisper as I meet his eyes. He takes a deep breath and sits down onto the spot I just sat at. "You can't imagine how much that means to me."