Chapter 47 - Stormy Inside and Out

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Uh-oh. Think I'm going to piss you guys off even more with this one...

Let me know what you think!

- Molly x

Opening the door to check the weather, I rubbed my tired eyes.

It had been a rough night of fitful sleep and I blinked blearily at the dark shadow that stretched across the threshold like a shaggy doormat.

The rug moved, a head lifting to blink at me with the golden eyes I knew so well.

"What the fuck Jack? Have you been there all night?" I glanced around to see if anyone was bearing witness to this idiot. There wasn't. The place was a ghost town.

The morning was cold and crisp, dark clouds filling what little I could see of the sky, with the promise of a storm.

Standing and stretching, the giant black wolf nodded his head. He shifted, bones cracking almost elegantly in their fluency of the action.

His clothes were folded neatly in the spot that he had just vacated, a common practise for wolves – it keeps them warm!

I averted my eyes as he dressed, amusing myself with the thought of him buck naked on my doorstep, folding his clothes last night.

I glanced between us. Both wearing last night's clothes in rumpled mockeries of our previous elegance. "Good to know I'm not the only one that looks like shit." I muttered. "Are you coming in...?"

I was reluctant to see him. But there was no escaping the fact that we needed to talk.

"You always look beautiful." He said solemnly. Earnest gaze causing my fragile heart to quake. He looked over my shoulder longingly, into the cosy warmth of the room. "I won't come in... I think some air would do us both some good while we talk... Would you join me for a coffee?"

Relieved at the prospect of being able to breath in a space larger than a shed, I agreed, pulling on shoes and a coat before following him out.

Jack knew this place fairly well from the few times he had visited with my father. He led us silently, the creased frown on his face betraying his inner conflict.

We made our way to a small food and beverage stand built into the rockface. It seemed to be the Point's equivalent of a food truck and the heavenly smell of food and coffee made me feel instantly a little better.

I ordered a bacon roll and a coffee, digging in immediately after receiving it, and eyeing Jack's empty hands as we walked away. "I thought you wanted coffee?"

"I can't stomach anything right now. I knew you'd want one first thing, though." His small smile didn't meet his eyes and I looked away.

Oh no you don't, you fucker. You aren't getting me that easily.

I continued to eat as I followed him along the riverside, heading for the mouth of the cavern that opened up onto the turbulent seascape.

Wind stung my cheeks the closer we got and I was grateful for the warm food and drink.

We stood silently for a moment at the cliff-edge watching the beauty of nature.

The waves tumbled over each other in a corrugated frenzy, racing to the rocks beath our feet.

Jack finally turned to me, a haunted look in his eyes as the midnight orbs turned into dark, wet, pools. "Charlie..." His voice was raw and broken. I had never seen anyone look so troubled. "Rebecca and I were over before you were anything more than my student."

My eyes flashed angrily, my wolf baring her teeth at his betrayal. "I was your mate!" The snarl that left me made him flinch slightly.

I took a breath and steadied my power. As much as I wanted to eviscerate him, I owed myself the explanation he was offering.

Running a restless hand over his face, he scratched his jaw irritably. "Please... Just hear me out."

I sniffed angrily, casting my gaze out to sea rather than witness his sorrow. "Go ahead." I finally managed. Warring with myself to keep from comforting him.

"You were only nine when we met. No man in his right mind would look at a girl so young and think they would ever be together. Our age gap may feel inconsequential now... but an eighteen year old looking at a baby isn't going to see this far ahead." Jack's words were rushed, clearly trying to get them out before I could interrupt or leave again.

I'd heard all this before. And the truth was... I didn't care about his past. I wasn't a virgin when we met. And if he had saved himself, waiting in expectation for that young girl to become a woman, I'd think he was a creep.

When I didn't answer, he continued. "By the time you were sixteen, I was twenty-four. You were still a baby. Still not anything resembling a realistic option for a mate. But I felt you. Felt you touch me every single damn night. I mourned you. Don't you get it? I mourned the idea of ever having a mate that I could touch and enjoy. That I could laugh with as equals... have pups with..."

My eyes shot to his. We had never mentioned the idea of pups. Life had moved like a whirlwind since the first moment I saw Drake in the forest. We hadn't had time to be a couple. To talk.

"It had been seven torturous years by then. I played around. It was the only thing keeping me sane." His gaze drifted out to sea, a darkness clouding his eyes with something akin to disgust.

His lost look unearthed a memory in me. Of my desperate need to connect on my own terms after what had happened with Drake. To turn off my mind and lose myself in pleasure, even it was going to be brief.

I understood that. I'd been there. To need to hide from your own mate bond, even as you are forced to live it every night, must have been an excruciating torment.

Still facing the sea, Jack spoke again. "It was at one of the Meet's here, that I met Rebecca for the first time. She seemed as broken as I was, deep down. I found out after we got to know each other, that she had lost her mate."

A pang of sympathy shivered through me, even for her. Losing a mate is an unimaginable horror.

Finally looking back to me, Jack sighed deeply. "I was stupid. Feeling lost and alone and so was she. We worked... In a sad sort of way, even at the distance of only one Meet a year and texting."

Jack sat heavily, letting his long legs drop over the side of the cliff. "I know everyone thinks I'm some kind of whore, but after meeting Rebecca, I wasn't. We agreed our terms. Kissing and touches of others were allowed. Sex wasn't."

I was about to argue, thinking of Shelby. But then remembered her words when she found out that we were mates... 'I was hoping to have some of that...'

"So... You have been in this 'relationship' for five years?" I whispered, unable to keep the tear from sliding down my cheek. "And you didn't think to tell me?"

Jack moved to wipe my tear but clearly thought better of it. "I stopped it. Months ago. The first moment I felt any kind of desire for you. It wasn't fair. On you or Rebecca. I hadn't told her I knew my mate. But she knew of you as my student." He paused. The pleading look sliding back into place. "Charlie... I need to tell you something even worse... I agreed... that if I wasn't mated before Rebecca and I met again on my thirtieth year... God... Charlie..."

My stomach did a backflip and I sank to sit beside him, unable to trust my legs on the cliff-edge. "What did you do?" I demanded, aghast and shaking with fear.

"I promised I'd finally let her mark me." Jack looked revolted, but his disgust was nothing in comparison to mine.

My mate... gave himself away?

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