Sage's Obsession

~01

Boom!

The sound of the bomb dropping on Nagasaki on a TV channel called "bomb them up" played in the background. The loud noise woke me up from my drunken stupor, my body was aching and my mind was spinning. The glowing numbers on my bedside clock stated that it was four in the morning, I had managed to get roughly two hours of sleep in, and currently being intoxicated did not entirely help my case.

Looking down I realised that I was still in my funeral attire, a long; plain black dress. One that I would have to burn soon in order to keep me sane. I already have enough painful and disheartening memories that I would have to remember, ones that will be etched in my mind for the entirety of my life. This reminder of my parents' torturous death did not need to add on to them.

A whirlwind of dark thoughts overcame me as I gazed outside at the newly forming storm. Trees crashed into one another begging for mercy, no one ever paints this side of Mother Nature. Everything; everyone; we as humans see we like to paint in rose tinted glasses. Me saying this would be deemed highly ironic though because as much as i would love to deny the truth that is how i saw life before the tragic event that changed my life two weeks ago. Maybe these are the side effects of having people you love being torn away from you. Too early, too soon.

There was a distant echo of small footsteps running across the blurry room. The room seemed familiar but trying to remember only caused a splitting ache in my head. Maybe it was a play of my imagination or a false sense of deja vu. The feeling lingered and unease spread like wildfire in me. It was frustrating knowing I was missing something important that the fact that I suddenly wasn't at home didn't bother me.

The urge to run was consuming me. I stumbled forward tripping over my own feet, my vision still hazy. The whirlwind of emotions strangled me, I was practically choking on air. How pathetic. After blinking and squinting I realised I was standing in the middle of a hallway. The hallway was painted sage and filled with pictures and vines.

Abruptly a child frantically ran out of the many rooms letting out a gut wrenching scream. A child, how could that be? Sweat poured down her face. She seemed young, familiar almost. Her cheeks were tainted red and her dark eyes mirrored the despair that both she and I were feeling. I tried to speak, tried to ask her what had happened to her when my eyes abruptly trailed over her bloodied hands. I was disorientated and my body was vanquished by an uncontrollable trembling fit, with unknown fear embedded deep within me. My ears were ringing, my stomach turning with nausea, goosebumps rising on my skin as my breathing turned heavy. It was as though an invisible force had pushed her. The kid fell forward and toppled down the stairs in a slow, agonising motion. My instincts took over regardless of my upcoming panic attack and I ran towards...light?

"Sage, wake up!" Violet stood over me with her eyebrows scrunched up in concern and despair. It was only a nightmare, I reassured myself I had most likely fallen asleep at some point. Getting up I drag my feet towards the vanity where a mirror was lit up. So, I take a deep breath to prepare myself to look at my reflection. My eyes were puffy from sobbing and my throat was burning from wailing out loud.

Violet, however, who had just woken up looked as flawless as an angel except for the fact that her eyes were also burning red. My heart felt warm knowing she had cried for me and grieved my loss. Maybe my dream was a sign that I shouldn't let my depression and self pity make me spiral, maybe that little girl represented the nightmare that my life has been these past weeks.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Violet mumbled blushing like a virgin bride while gazing downwards towards her fingers that were fiddling with the ends of her sleeve. Her blonde hair falling against her face as she tried to desperately tuck it back in behind her ear.

"Your face is quite distracting but I'm fine." I croaked, my throat scratchy from being dehydrated. Violet attempted to glare at me and subsequently rushed towards the kitchen mumbling something along the lines of 'I will just go get you some water then'. That was unusually domestic for her but being pampered by my lovely housewife makes me feel important, or she just feels pity for me. I know it's the latter but I like to pretend.

I chugged down the water with the desperation of a dying fish. Violet stood by watching intensely, she was definitely trying to figure out if I was actually fine. She either acted like my wife or my mother. I sighed giving up easily in whatever mind war she was having with me. I can't believe that was her attempt at being intimidating, she looked possessed."I just had a weird dream" I shrugged nonchalantly.

Her hands enveloped mine in comfort as she looked at me with pity. "About what? You can tell me." She reassured me.

The thought of that dream alone made me sick to the core, I know a dream isn't reality yet I cannot help but feel uneasy just thinking about it. I tried not to grit my teeth and gave her a practised toothy smile. She can never tell the difference between a fake or real smile anyway, so why not use it to my advantage.

"About you" I winked.

Her face twisted oddly as she spluttered and gasped. God she was easily flattered today, or she was just humouring me. I snatched my hand back and headed towards the bathroom. I couldn't continue a conversation while having morning breath. I don't understand how she wasn't bothered by the lack of hygiene.

Even if my heart was aching and my eyes just wanted to close shut forever I mustered up the strength to go through my morning routine. Somehow I had to adjust to a life without them. Somehow I had to be okay with the fact I only had violet now. Just thinking about a future without them was exhausting and agonising. Working as a florist was quite lonely, you didn't have colleagues your age and only part time uni students. At times like this I won't be able to vent to my parents anymore.

My parents were my life. I wasn't going to be satisfied until the person who brutally murdered my parents had the same agonising downfall as them. I will find that person one way or another, where that will lead me that I am unsure of. What I do know is that this newfound determination to find my parents murderer was going to die down until I reached my goal.

Fifteen days had passed but it was as though time had frozen on the day they died. My phone suddenly buzzed from an incoming call, the caller ID announced it was from Inspector Pandey. I pressed the phone to my ear as soon as I clicked accept.

"I found something" his voice was shaky and out of breath.