Her Red Scarf [Muslim love story]

Chapter 1

You might expect a beautiful ending to my story. 

But here's the thing, things are rarely beautiful in my family. They say that half marriages end up in divorce, and while I wished and dreamed I wouldn't be one of them, here I am on this fine fine morning, getting ready to go work at exactly the same workplace my ex-husband, who mind you, has just divorced and kicked me out of the house this weekend, works at.

I did thoroughly debate not going. Believe me. But... I don't have a choice. Being back at my parents' house—ugh—I need my own money. This is not a mere desire. This is a need.

I unlock the door of my blue Nissan, leaving most of my dysfunctional blended family members sleeping inside the house. At least I have my own car.

I'm not usually this pessimistic, but I just lost my husband, house and moved apprehensively back with my parents and their respective spouses who share the same house all in a span of 24 hours. I'm trying here.

The drive is about fifteen minutes long. I put on some Quran to calm my nerves, but needless to say that when I park the car in front of the building plaza, my hands are still shaking from what I'm about to do. I rest my head on the steering wheel. Ya allah, I know you don't make a soul bear more than it can take. But this is pushing it. I...

Who wants to see the product of their unrequited love so soon? If only I had seen this divorce coming, maybe I wouldn't feel so hurt, and... defeated. I thought we were okay. I cooked his favorite foods, we went on dates, and had holiday plans right after my first semester of med school. How... did this come to be? And why did I have to know from my father as well?

I do some Istirghfar. I reach about one hundred before I decided that's it, I'm going inside. I open my car door swiftly to not give myself the chance to back away and walk toward the entrance. Coincidentally, I find Janan, my ex-bestfriend also quickly making her way toward the entrance. I frown. It's odd to see her so early at the office, and so... chirpy to see me, which makes me take a second to reply to her Salam with my own. I've never been okay with the fact that she's always wanted my man, and made it quite clear at that, which is why I keep the interaction short. I take the stairs to the second floor after her, and I enter my classroom.

It's very humid inside, which makes me go directly for the window at the other end. The sky is gloomy today, which is typical of Canadian summers. However, there's a slight breeze. I'm taking a few moments to enjoy it and calm my racing breath when I jump around at the sound of a voice behind me.

"Assalamu Alaykum, good morning Suha."

My nickname. In Arabic, it means the forgotten one. I've always hated it, but Rafiq always joked about how he'd be the one who never would.

What a sour reminder.

"wa 'alaykum assalam." I don't say more, waiting for him to continue. While we would sometimes enjoy quiet mornings like this before the students came, now that he went around and ruined everything, that's not really possible.

He seems to realize it too.

"Can you come to my office around noon? I need to talk to you."

He tilts his head, and faint light shines on the eyebags underlining his eyes. One thing about Rafiq is that he never has eyebags. He is the most healthy person I know. Sleeps early, eats plenty of greens and barely any sugar in his tea. We always joked about it. he acted like a grandpa already, but... things seem to have changed.

Well, good thing I'm not the only one who had to deal with them this morning. But my heart pinches. I'm not.... as happy as I want to feel about that

I'm nodding when Janan's head appears above his shoulder.