03.
There are days where all I feel for you is anger.
Overwhelming anger that I can't control. And others I feel sadness.
But I can't cry.
So I just sit there, numb to the feeling but knowing what I feel, wondering where it was exactly that we went wrong.
There are things I wish I said a million times more and words I wish I never thought of.
I love you.
A different feeling for that phrase every day.
It's like there's a raging storm in my body constantly fighting wether to hate you or miss you.
Neither one is any easier,
They both bring me pain.
A feeling you'll never seem to understand.
You walked away like it was nothing.
Like every promise and every I love you uttered from the lips I used to love kissing, meant nothing.
And I don't know what I want more some days.
My happiness, my other half, my best friend; back in my life, or to just move on.
Maybe it's finally time to let go of you.
Even though you have always meant more than the world to me.
I think what hurts the most is choosing to give my all to you through thick and thin. Choosing to always be there for you no matter what.
Then one day, you just gave up.
Didn't even put up a fight.
The one thing I never would have done, you did without hesitation.
16-01-2023
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