Metamorphosis: Memories

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Research Journal, Psychology
Entry no. X36. XX/XX/XXXX

Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that severely impacts a person's ability to regulate their emotions. This loss of emotional control can increase impulsivity, affect how a person feels about themselves, and negatively impact their relationships with others.

During my research in multiple fields of science and being a temporary professor at a nearby school. I've devoted a generous amount of time studying Psychology specifically. Due to my two parents being quite the broken match, I expect myself to be the solution to everybody's problems. One parent suffers from severe depression.. and the other parent..... I can't stand him!

He says I have borderline personality disorder W̶h̶O̶ d̶o̶s̶ h̶e̶ t̶h̶I̶n̶k̶ h̶ I̶s̶?̶!̶!̶ S̶o̶m̶e̶ F̶u̶c̶k̶i̶g̶ P̶R̶o̶f̶e̶s̶s̶i̶o̶ n̶l̶?̶!̶ I̶m̶ T̶H̶e̶ r̶a̶l̶ P̶r̶o̶f̶ s̶s̶n̶a̶l̶ h̶E̶r̶E̶

So out of curiosity, I researched the disorder and meticulously studied and read through all the sources I could get my hands on. Stupid old man! Just because I'm highly emotional and capricious doesn't mean I'm ill! The both of you are the ones who need help! Ugh, but that's it for today.

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Chapter: 6

Feet stomping on dirt roads, long untamed hair flies with the wind and my breathing syncs with my steps. I couldn't stand that place! I thought they could help me but they just can't! I'm tired and I'm hurt and I just want to just accept the fact I have this demon and live the peaceful life I deserve!

Everyday since that day since I entered that cathedral, my life went downhill. I tried coming back to that place but it was gone, like it was just a mirage, a hallucination. I tried asking my neighbours about the strange house and cathedral on the mountain but they claimed to have never seen such things besides the houses of a few people who prefer the quiet life.

Not to mention, the relative I'm living with took notice of my strange behavior. They sent me to a summer camp after my grades dropped and when I spent too many hours in the principal's office. But summer camps aren't enough, people around me were suspecting my strange and violent behavior with demonic possession. And they were right. But then it forced me to spend months in the church because even the most experienced exorcists couldn't exorcise the demon from me. They needed to identify the demon, a name.

So then the church decided to just imprison me till they can figure out who the demon inside me is. But it's been years. I couldn't handle the isolation, the torture... so I ran away, I escaped.

And now I'm being chased by policemen and the people from the church.

One day I'm a nerd with a normal life then I'm a nerd with a demon and police chasing me down. Ridiculous..

Making time to roll my eyes while running, I reached a dead end. I pose a stance, thinking of what to do next as my chasers grew closer and closer after every thought I make and by pure luck I managed to juke those who chased me. Almost tipping over with the lost of balance, I recover to carry on running and entered the woods. Trees surround me as I try to lose their sight of me by running pass the thick and tall trees and ran on ground that won't leave any visible footprints.

"Ha.. fuck.. I can't breath-"

I'm out of breathe.. but I need to keep running. And like any other outcome, my tired and exhausted foot hits a root of a tree and I stumble down.

"OH FOR FUCK'S SA-"

I continue to roll down, my face hitting dirt, grass, dead leaves and sticks poke my skin as I stumble down a hill. I must've focused too much on how to lose the people chasing me that I forgot to focus on where I was going-.. how did I run so high up?! And how did I end up on a hill?! I asked myself mentally, a few minutes ago I was running from my town and to a d