Vera was born into a royal family but she never felt royal. until she was sent to a private school In Vienna and met Sara who helped to teach her how to embrace the true version of herself and to love it in an unexpected way.
Sunlight poured though my window waking me up. I rolled to see Sara had left. It was a Sunday she probably had work to do. I got up and got changed
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I planned to go to town and go out on my own. My head was full because of all the drama with my family I just needed some time to figure it all out. Sit and down and run though all the details.
I headed out the door silently. Putting my head phones in and waking out the building and into town. One of my favourite songs playing Everything's just wonderful by lily Allen. It was such a sarcastic song and I loved that.
It wasn't a long walk but it was cold. My head was pretty full of all kinds of thoughts.
As I walked in my mind drifted from my sisters to my parents. How all this time maybe I was in the wrong. The only thing they wanted was the best for me and I never took the help or advice. I wouldn't be compromising my personality just toning it down as my farther always said and I thought that it was a lie. until now. It was all too much for me. Feelings of guilt overhung me for all the years of trouble and controversy. I sat down in the little coffee shop. It was warm and welcoming. I got a tea and sat down by the window. Trying to pan out what happens next. I was only at st.Marie's so two terms and if I didn't improve I may be sent here more permanently and I really didn't want that I missed my sisters and home too much. Time was running out and I needed to figure out how to show the change or were else to go.
I was mid thought when my phone went off. It was Enzo. "Hello" I said answering "Hey not to alarm you but you might wanna get back. fast" he said sounding worried "What why is everything okay?" I asked suddenly very concerned "Yeah yeah just Cassie" he trailed off I rolled my eyes of course it was "Oh god what has she done" I asked annoyed already. "She was running her month and me and Emma heard her call you and sat some nasty names I don't wanna repeat what she said" He answered apprehensively "You what?" I was literally raging. That dumb idiotic girl had the never to talk about me AND my girlfriend like that. This has crossed the line. Over the weeks I had been here she had been a total nightmare to me the whole time and I had had enough. "I'll be there soon" I spat putting the phone down and making a swift exit from the coffee shop. Paying on the way out. I walked harshly stomping my feet into the ground with every step. I was no fan of violence but this seriously had taken it too far. I got into my dorm building slamming the door open and marching quickly down the hallway.
When I reached my door I once again slammed it open and practically speed straight to cassie's door. Enzo had tried to stop me to no avail. I banged on her door and called out "Cassie you stupid get out here" The door open and I was now face to face with her. "do you want?" She asked sarcastically "You know" I barked back. "Oh Enzo's still a snitch" she laughed "You to much of coward? to scared to say it to my face" I replied smirking at her almost daring her to lunge at me. She related what she had said in a tone that suggested she thought she was so big and clever. She had sealed her fate with that one. "Ohh you've really done it now" I yelled grabbing her by the hair and dragging her. She screamed at me to let her go and when she did get out my grip she tried to run off to Daniel but I pushed into a corner in the hailway. I started hitting her repeatedly until Enzo dragged me away. I was never usually one for violence it's wasn't me. But I didn't feel like me in that moment.
He took out the building and sat down with me on a bench. Allowing me to breath and clam down as I was still fuming. "I know what she said was unacceptable but seriously" he said looking at me painfully. "I know I'm sorry it's just when I came out and the press found out they could be really harsh so it really effects me" I said genuinely sadden by the thought. Resting my head on his shoulder silently relaxing agin.
"That must have been rough" he hummed I nodded. The memories of that time still effected me. Although Sweden is crazy exceptive it wasn't all good as with anyway. And although there were many positive responses to my coming out those few negative were really harsh. Especially the internet. I was forced to come if it due to my parents having serious concerns for my mental health. I was berated by all sort of people who had never met me. It was crazy and scary. And if anything made me more wild than ever. Although that wildness was a cover up for a deep self hatred that was slowly fading over the last couple of weeks but this brought all those feelings back again. It's a kind feeling that no one should have to feel. The kind of thing you wish you could get rid of the world. I never understood why it mattered so much to people. It was my business and mine only. I sat with Enzo for a while. It was nice to able to not say anything but he still understood. Enzo was the more incredible friend I had ever had. In the weeks we had spent together I had come to know him as a kind and funny person.
I got up. "I'm gonna go talk to my sister." I said waking away. Returning to my room I sat softly on the my bed and grabbed my phone. I set up my phone and FaceTimed my sister. Eva. My rock. My light in the dark. "Hey hey" she smiled though the camera. "I got in fight" I said straight to the point. "Dam did not you win?" She asked excitedly "Yeah" I laughed "That's my girl but why" she hummed. I explain the whole thing and Eva understood immediately why it had such a large effect on me. During our conversation she gave a peace of advice I don't think I'll ever forget. "Dove these people won't matter to you in five years so why worry about it. You will only live once so enjoy life and all it's beauty no matter what they say" That was something I had needed to hear for a long time. The reason I couldn't understand why the press hated me and why I was different was because I was trying to hard to be something I'm not. Perfect. That's something nobody can ever be. What I had come to realise is we're all as bad as each other in our ways.
