Five Nights At Freddy's One Shots

Random Chapter Of Crack! ~IDK x Yew~

-Icy here! This isn't serious... at all. Sooooo.... you've been warned, yadda yadda, now... let the crack commence! *puts on MLG glasses* Icy out, biatches!-

(Y/n)-chan walked into the office, clearly pissed. "What's wrong, m8?" Mike said as he took gangsta as f selfies. "Fuckin' Foxy thought it'd be funny if he gave me the knot -^-" she said and held up a rope, that had a knot in it. Vincent laughed really hard and Jeremy stood up and pulled out a gun, "I'll han-handle this!" He said but the (h/c) girl made him sit down. "Tell me... am I bæ or naw?" It was time she asked that question, everything was quiet... except for Chica, who had barged in with random air horn music blaring as she twerked.

Fucking life scaring shit there, kids... now go bleach those eyes... done bleaching? Good... let's continue.

Then, everyone in the pizzeria entered the room, "YOU'RE BÆ!!!11" (Y/n) smiled, all her bitches loved her.  "She loves me more tho," BB said as he got on the desk and put on MLG glasses and got out a joint, lit it up and took a puff. He began laughing that annoying ass laugh and the song 'Smoke Weed Everyday' began playing. Jeremy stood up, put the shotgun up to BB's head and pulled the trigger, making BB's brains splatter all over everyone. "I didn't choose the thug lyfe... thug lyfe chose me." Jeremy said and proceeded to cry as Fritz comforted him. "Hehehehe... that was mind blowing! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Mike laughed at his own pun. It even made (Y/n) laugh, it was pretty good.

"BB got wrecked..." Toy Bonnie said and kicked the said boys body. "Shrek is love, Shrek is life." Freddy randomly said and was holding The Book Of Shrek, it was about Shrek and his teachings. Though, Freddy looked like a preacher. WTF.

All of a sudden Shrek flew in through a window, scooped Freddy up bridal style and flew out with the bear weeping with joy in his arms, "I'VE BEEN CHOSEN BY SHREK!" Were his last words to them all. "Damn nature, you scary!" Mike said and stared at the broken window.

(Y/n) looked over her friends. Mike was right, nature was scary... veeeery scary.... "Let's GTFO!" She yelled and dragged everyone out to her car. She gave everyone MLG glasses and a joint that was lit, then she got in the driver's seat and drove off away from the sunrise, the song "Riding Dirty" playing and the car began to fly... little did they all know, it was a Delorian -Don't fucking kniw what the car from Back To The Future is XD-

They see us rollin', they hatin'...

They all took a puff from their joints and began to do the Ney Ney as they also Whipped... Foxy dunked on Vincent. "Hey, guys, what's 9 + 10!?" Springtrap asked frantically, "21!!!!" Fritz answered with a mouthful of donuts. "Look at all dem chickens!" Toy Chica said pointing to Chica, "I'm only one chicken..." Chica said. "You're fat enough to be 30!" Toy Chica snapped back. "Ooooooh!" Toy Freddy said. "BUUUURN!!!!" Marionette said. "SHOTS FIRED!!!" Bonnie said.

Dayum, they all cray cray.

Tryin' to catch us ridin' dirty....

"I like turtles..." Golden Freddy randomly said. (Y/n) popped open some shitty, cheap ass beer and chugged it as she drived. 'Fuck the police.' She thought, but actually yelled loudly. Everyone yelled, "Burn!" Or "Shots fired!"

All of a sudden, Jeremy did a 360 with a sniper then shot Toy Bonnie in the head as he spun around, "360 NO SCOOOOOOPE!!!" He yelled triumphantly and fist pumped. He was higher than fuuuuuck.

Finally, the Delorian vanished from sight and a confused author was left on the ground. "The fuck did I just write?" Icy mumbled to herself and facepalmed. A sigh escaped her lips and she looked from her phone up into the morning sky. "Only one thing left to do..." she said to herself and held up MLG glasses she thought she'd never use again. "...Better join them... like a boss..." Icy placed the glasses on and a remix of 'Guren No Yumiya' with air horns in the background began to play. She smirked and popped a fat joint into her mouth, "4 20 blaze it, bitches." With that she shot into the sky, faster than light.

She was off to write more fanfiction, starring (Y/n) and the Fred-dick Fazfuck Crew; maybe she'd even write a Fuckboy one, a.k.a Balloon Bitch... naw, he's not bæ... unless (Y/n) wants Balloon Bitch.... for now, she was here to fuck shit up...

Until then, try not to get stuffed in a Fred-dick suit my fellow guards of Fazfuck's Pimp House O' Pleasure.