The Entirely Fabricated Story of Lizzie Nickerson

Chapter 40

Detective Tarpick winced, stepping down from the porch as the Medical Examiner arrived on the scene.

"You okay, Mitch?" Stoudemire asked, noticing his partner's slow progression toward their unmarked sedan.

"Yeah," he said. "Hunky dory." He eyed the weathered yard flag, faded pumpkins and autumn leaves forming the word 'WELCOME.'

Two uniformed police officers accompanied the Medical Examiner who skimmed past the detectives on their way into the modest brick home.

"Seventeen years on the force and this is what it's come to. What kind of an outfit are we working for?"

Frazier declined to engage, walked around the front of the car, and then got into the driver's seat. He started the engine and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel waiting for his partner.

Tarpick opened the passenger door and then gingerly settled into the seat. "Busy work," he grumbled. "Next they'll be sending us out to get coffee and bagels. Maybe wash the lieutenant's car." He pulled the door closed with a loud slam.

Frazier steered away from the curb. "Nobody said this was a glamorous job."

"It took two experienced detectives to crack the case? Bah! Some senile old woman shoots her husband dead and calls the police. There's his body lying right beside the Barcalounger. Here's the gun. Case closed. She admits plugging the poor sap. She must've confessed a dozen times to anyone who would listen."

"Yep."

"They could have sent some jughead right out of the academy. But no. They send us. Busy work. Maybe we should call the lieutenant and ask him if he wants us to pick up a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, or maybe some hemorrhoid cream on our way back to the station. Fine detective work, boys."

Stoudemire drove past the entrance to the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden, thinking about how long it had been since he'd visited the zoo. He remembered holding his eight-year-old daughter's hand, sticky from a melting ice cream cone. Out of all the memories from their zoo trip, that's the one that surfaced.

"So this is how I'm going to end my career, like a dope?" Tarpick continued grousing. "I should be doing something meaningful with my life."

Frazier was tempted to say, "You mean like ceramics?" but he held his tongue.

"So we drive all the way across town to listen to Old Mother Hubbard babble on about putting a slug into her husband. And the old biddy wasn't the least bit remorseful about committing cold-blooded murder."

"I think she was relieved."

"Relieved?"

"Think about it. Everything's fine until they retire. They rattle around in that little house all day long, every day just the two of them. She said he complained about everything. She set the thermostat too high. The pork chops are overcooked. She buys the wrong brand of ice cream. She left the bathroom light on. When he started complaining that she used too much toilet paper she just snapped. Got the gun and bang! No more nagging."

Tarpick went quiet.

"You get somebody who's a constant complainer and their partner just can't take it anymore. It wears you down."

Judging by the expression on Tarpick's face, he was finally making the connection.

Frazier added, "Life's too short, my friend."

........

Sonya heard the water running in the bathtub. Upon investigating, she discovered a colander filled with aquarium gravel in the tub. She turned off the running water.

"Lizzie," she called.

No answer.

"Lizzie! Where are you?"

"Oh, geez. I'm in my room. Where else would I be?"

Sonya walked down the hallway to the bedroom and found Lizzie wiping the inside of the empty fish bowl with a wad of paper towels. On the desk, Buddy the guppy swam in a drinking glass filled with water.

"I told you I'd help you clean the fishbowl," she said.

"I don't need any help."

Sonya paused before she said, "You left the water running in the bathtub."

As usual, Lizzie was hyper-focused on her task.

"I said you left the water running in the bathtub. Water's expensive."

"What did you say?" Lizzie asked.

"I said water's expensive."

"That doesn't even make sense. Water is a naturally occurring substance. It should be free, just like air."

"Well, it's not."

Lizzie shook her head. "The man, right?"

"I don't normally go along with that, but in this case, I'm gonna have to agree. Yep, it's the man."

"I need to start drinking more water. How am I gonna pay for that?"

"You won't need to pay for it."

"But if I don't drink enough water, all kinds of bad things can start happening. I'm already mildly dehydrated." Her mouth dipped into a scowl.

"You can drink as much water as you want but don't leave the faucets running, okay?"

"I read that kids should be drinking an 8-ounce glass of water for every year. There's no way I've been drinking fourteen 8-ounce glasses of water! Not even close. Maybe half, and that's not good. My nutrients and oxygen are probably struggling to get to my cells. And I'm not doing enough to protect my organs and tissues. That's really worrisome."

"Lizzie. Listen to me."

"I am listening."

"Don't leave the faucets running. That's all."

No response.

"Can you do that?"

"Maybe my memory is failing because I'm mildly dehydrated."

Sonya rolled her eyes.