The Entirely Fabricated Story of Lizzie Nickerson

Once Upon A Time

Lizzie Nickerson's story is not a true crime story. That's too bad because true crime is enormously popular. Almost nothing in this story, including Lizzie Nickerson, is true. It's all made up. Except maybe for Cincinnati. Cincinnati, Ohio is a real place.

So, anyway...

The body of Frederick Gibbs lay at the base of a narrow flight of stairs in the entryway of the apartment building, his maple walking cane a few feet away. The sixty-seven-year-old man was discovered by the first-floor tenant, Ms. Margery Brennan, at approximately 6:15 A.M. when she left her apartment to retrieve The Cincinnati Enquirer from the front porch. Horrified at the sight of her pale, lifeless neighbor on the floor, his half-closed eyes directed at the cracked plaster ceiling, Ms. Brennan darted back into her apartment, and dialed 911. Her Cincinnati Enquirer would have to wait.

"Seeing him lying there was an unnerving way to start my day," Margery Brennan later told Officer Delvin Ott, the Cincinnati police officer who responded to the call, a large African-American man who could barely be contained by his uniform.

"Unnerving?" he asked. "Are you sure that's the word you'd like to use?"

Margery thought about it for a moment, dabbed her red nose with a tissue, and then replied, "Yes, I believe I'll stick with unnerving."

"Suits me," said Officer Ott, recording the remark in his notepad. "You don't often hear that one."

Ms. Brennan reeked as though someone had seized her by her arthritic ankles and dunked her head-first into a vat of perfume like dipping a chocolate-covered ice cream bar. The overwhelming fragrance invaded the police officer's sinus cavities and reddened his eyes.

She glanced at the deceased and wiped a tear from her cheek.

He cleared his throat. "Is there anything else you can tell me about your neighbor, Ms. Brennan?"

"He absolutely adored my pecan putters."

"Excuse me?"

"Pecan putters are a specialty cookie of mine that I bake from time to time."

"So, it's safe to say that the man did not have a nut allergy."

She shrugged. "He certainly wasn't allergic to my pecan putters."

It should be noted that this is not a police story. Not really. Not in any traditional sense. A few of the characters are law enforcement officers but they are secondary characters.

Be patient. You'll see.