The Entirely Fabricated Story of Lizzie Nickerson

Chapter 44

One thing that could be said for Indigo Finch, she was consistent. She lacked universally accepted maternal instincts from the moment her baby was born and the passing years changed nothing. Instead of opening her arms wide to embrace the daughter she hadn't seen in six years, she reached into her shoulder bag and unfolded a burlap cloth.

Lizzie fixed her in a raw gaze that said you don't belong here.

"Look what I brought you," Indigo said in an ecstatic whisper. "All the way from Colorado. Crystals!"

Lizzie said nothing. She could barely hear her mother's words over the screaming sounds in her head, bottled-up feelings crashing into one another. Feelings about hurt, abandonment, and loneliness, none of them soothing feelings, none of them encouraging her to say, "Oh, geez, Momma. I missed you so much."

Indigo held the crystals in her open palms. "Aren't they the most beautiful things?"

"They're pretty," Lizzie answered flatly.

"Crystals hold energy. Healing energy. They open up channels. It's like the seven great magnetic energies of the Earth, like New Mexico."

Sonya rolled her eyes.

"It's about connecting, balancing, and harmonizing. Putting us back on the parallel track with Mother Earth and protecting us from negative energy. All that negative energy the man puts out."

Lizzie and her aunt exchanged raised eyebrows. Indigo saw the exchange but blithely chirped on.

"I can teach you how to balance and realign your chakras. When the crown chakra is open it can bring you bliss and enlightenment. Your heart chakra bridges the gap between the upper and lower chakras. Your aura tells me that your heart chakra must be blocked. You feel lonely, isolated, and insulated."

"I'm autistic, Momma. I'm on the spectrum."

"We're all on the spectrum. All on nature's beautiful infinite rainbow."

"I have an autism spectrum disorder."

"No, you don't."

"Oh, geez. That's why I'm socially awkward. Why I'm clumsy. It makes sense."

"It's about your chakras, Maribeth."

"That's why I'm obsessive about reading."

"You get that from your father. He was a passionate reader."

"You're not listening. You never listen to me. You don't." Her foot pounded so hard she could have hammered nails with it.

"I'm not gonna listen to this nonsense." She turned to her sister, her temper rumbling in her voice. "Is this what you've done to her? She makes up some freaky disease that supposedly makes her unbalanced and disconnected and you just go along with that?"

"There's nothing freaky about her, Indigo. Lizzie is an amazing young lady."

"Lizzie? Who the fuck is Lizzie?"

"I'm Lizzie!" she shouted.

Indigo narrowed her eyes at Sonya. "You changed her name?"

Lizzie took a half-step closer to her estranged mother. "I changed my own name! Me! I did it! I didn't want to be Maribeth anymore."

"So now you're Lizzie Finch? Is that what you're telling me?"

"Lizzie Nickerson. Not Finch."

"Who the fuck is Nickerson?" Her question sounded like a threat.

"Me! Lizzie Nickerson. That's who I am."

She directed her ire at her sister. "Had I known that you'd be playing sick mind games with her–"

"You'd what?" Sonya shot back.

Indigo steamed.

Sonya erupted. "You're doing it again. You're not listening to her. You're talking around her like she's not even here."

Indigo shoved the crystals into her hemp shoulder bag. "This is way fucked up and I'm gonna put a stop to this. Right now. Come on, Maribeth."

Indigo may as well have been addressing a block of granite.

"I said come on Maribeth." She extended her hand.

"There's no Maribeth here."

"Okay, then Lizzie. Let's go."

"Go away."

"What did you say to me?"

"Go away. That's what you're good at."

........

Lizzie slouched in her chair at the window. Down below, water sprayed from the wheels of passing cars, the sidewalks shining beneath silver streaks of rain. She read Scooter's texts.

Scooter: Hey Lizzie. How ya doing?

Scooter: Boring day. Studying for my trig exam.

Scooter: You must be busy. Text me when you can.

Scooter: I miss you.

Lizzie texted with one thumb: I miss you too.

She wanted to tell him about her adventure, her first neighborhood walk all by herself. She almost walked a mile without her Aunt Sonya. That was something special and, despite the creepy rodent-face guy, she felt really good about herself. But then her mother showed up and ruined the whole day. And now that's all she could think about. Why did Indigo have to come back? Why couldn't she just stay away and make her hemp soap with her hippie hemp friends?

At first, Lizzie was really mad but that anger turned into sadness and sadness felt worse than anger. Anger was like a firecracker exploding. It happened really fast and really big and really loud but it went away. Sadness was like falling off a happy boat that sailed away and left you worried and wondering if it was ever coming back again to save you before you drowned. And if it did, would you be able to get on the boat and be happy again? Or would you be a sad person stuck on the boat with a bunch of happy people staring at you telling you to stop being sad? And that only made you sadder.