Popie

Chapter 3: Older Children

A/N: I'm going to have the Reagan and Sloan story as a subplot! So Sloan is in a coma for 20 years after he drank the champagne, and he just woke up today!

"Ugh, where am I?" Sloan opened up his eyes to a complete and utter darkness. This darkness was none other than Reagan's Mom's Basement. Reagan performed all his spells and lived there, even after 20 years. He was almost as bad as Popie. 

"You're home, with me!" Reagan kissed his new boyfriend.

"So... You know how I said I wasn't gay before... Well, I think I was wrong Reagy-poo..." Sloan looked at him. "I love you!" 

The two of them then had a full-on makeout session which ended in the two of them vomiting because both of them tasted like moldy eggs. But the two of them were in love, and they decided to get married. 

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Sometime 20 years later, their daughter, Cara decided to get married. She had always had a hard time liking people in general and that is why she was the last to get married. However, one day, she met her man. His name was Oli and he was "sexy 😘😘". Oli was her soulmate, and today was their wedding day. She was so super happy to marry Oli, even though Oli had already been married 69 times, and was still married to 6 of them. She was just glad to be one of his hoes. So they did the procession and they got married. SoOOOoo interesting.

"H-help me!" Suddenly, Shapoopie dropped dead. They called EMS, but they couldn't save her. Oli looked at his best friend, Quinn, who had also attended the wedding, and they both started laughing uncontrollably.

"Daddy, this isn't the time," Oli's wife started sobbing.

"Sorry, it's Quinn's fault. Their faces are just so stupid I laughed when I looked at them," Oli apologized.

"Sir, you are under arrest," Policewoman Sia came up behind him, read him his Miranda rights, and handcuffed him.

"Huh, why?"

"We looked at the security footage and you poisoned Mrs. Diper's drink."

"No, that's wrong! You did it!" He refuted Sia.

"But sir, I didn't-"

"You did because I said so. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!" He then headbutted Sia and a whole dogfight broke out. But, because Oli had mad strength that was gifted to him by the god of anime, Sia lost. He broke his handcuffs and ran away.

At the hospital, Popie cried out in despair. His one love was dead. He left the hospital and went to Hot Topic. He then gave himself a full emo makeover. He dyed his once brown hair black, put on all-black clothing, listened to some My Chemical Romance, and then did some emo makeup.

"Are you broken too?" Another 48-year-old emo woman approached him, so he decided to rant about Fortnite to her.

"You're such a silly goose! I actually play Fortnite too, and I also play a game called Subway surfers, have you heard of it?" She asked him.

"Yeah, that's my second favorite game ever, the first being Fortnite." He told her, "What's your name by the way?"

"Martha... But you can call me M-Dawgie," She blushed, "You?"

"Popie Pinly Diper... Your name is so cool,"

"Why are you so sad, if you're willing to tell me?"

"My wife just died less than an hour ago,"

"HOLY FORTNITE! So, you're single now," She remarked, completely unsympathetic to the fact that his literal life died. "Want my number?" She flirted.

"Sure baby girl, it's 123-456-7891." He suddenly caught feelings for Martha despite the fact he'd just met her and his wife wasn't breathing anymore.