Broken Thread

Chapter 14: We Were Always The Same

I get up from Scorpius' arms, my breathing finally back to normal. As much as he wanted me, and I wanted him to almost the same extent, we didn't go farther than kissing. There were so many little moments where it seemed like we might just let it happen and worry about the rest later. The only thing really stopping us was Seren. Neither of us had said it out loud, but that's the thing about us being so connected. We didn't have to put it into words to know that my feelings for Seren wouldn't let us be together like we had been before. 

I fix my suit back onto my shoulders and Scorpius pushes himself off the floor, leaning against the door frame as he watches me. This would be our new normal. His eyes would follow me everywhere from now on because there's a fear in his body - a nervousness that if he were to take his eyes off me for more than a second, I might just disappear again. I see it hidden behind his gaze. That look of worry is a wound he may hold forever.

"Are you going to see her now?" he asks. The question sinks like a rock in my gut. After everything we've been through, him asking about Seren feels like the worst. Would I ever get used to them knowing about each other? It wasn't so much that they knew the other existed, it was the emotions they knew I stored in my heart for each of them.

"I have to."

He nods, but the clench in his jaw tells me he's far from okay with that answer. I can't focus on that right now. Seeing Seren and making sure she was okay should be the only thing moving me across the room. Walking to the door, I try my hardest not to look at Scorpius, but he grabs me by the back of my neck and twirls my body against his. He cocks my chin up and kisses me, his warm lips making my cheeks immediately hot. This isn't a goodbye kiss nor is it one filled with ownership. He isn't saying 'choose me' when he leans up and opens the door. He's saying 'don't forget about me'. His kiss is telling me those same three words he said when I was in his arms.

We both exit the dark room and walk into the florescent hallway. I look up at him. In this lighting I can see every detail of him. His eyes seem a thousand times darker, his lashes thicker, hair a curtain of absolute darkness. Even his horns, the grooves detailed in them, stand out so I can see the pattern more clearly. The glow from his skin hasn't dimmed even a little, making me see the fire like lava flowing over his pink flesh.

His thumb runs under my eye. "What I'd give to swim in those oceans."

Quickly, he drops his hand and tilts his head behind me, most likely directing me to where Seren is. I pivot on the balls of my feet, knowing if I continue to stare and study him for a moment longer, I'd never leave his side. Even when I make my way down the hall, I don't hear his steps. He's watching me.

Don't look back.

The door at the end of the hall stares back at me, ominous and blaming. The last time I spoke to Seren, she wanted nothing to do with me. She repeatedly told me to choose Scorpius and leave her alone. The hate in her eyes was something I never thought she would give me. Could I blame her? If the roles were reversed, would I feel the same amount of despise that she felt? Sure, I would be hurt. I was hurt when I found out the length of her and Estella's relationship. But hate? Even as I make my way to the closed door in front of me, I'm almost positive I wouldn't be able to hate Seren no matter what she did.

When I make it to the door, Scorpius' footsteps start the other way, fading to give me some privacy. I mentally thank him. Goddess knows how long it'll take me to even work up the courage to walk into this room. Having him watch me would've made me more nervous. My hands shake as I lift my hand to open it, hesitating in the air. My thoughts are telling me to just go in. Seren was behind there. She was the name I called out when I thought I was dying. I shouldn't be so afraid to see her face to face. My body, however, freezes. I can't stop picturing the rage that burned in her.