INVISIBLE STRING ― pedro pascal

-MESSAGES, REAL LIFE

—

"So tell me about Pedro."

Willow breathed out a laugh, feeling her face warm at the mere thought of him. Her heart raced and her hands felt immediately clammy.

She wiped them on her jeans, looking over the room. She sat on a small brown leather sofa on a floral rug, and across from her in a matching leather chair, hands folded in her lap.

Clearing her throat, she looked back up at Denise, her therapist and shrugged.

"I don't know," she bit back a smile, "we're friends."

"Is that all you are?"

It wasn't accusatory, but it felt like a jab. Willow's heart sank. She hoped Denise wouldn't tell her to stop spending time with Pedro. She didn't want him to get bored of her if he didn't talk to her enough.

"Yeah," Willow confirmed. "We're friends. I mean—we both have feelings for each other, but we established boundaries and we follow them. The best we can, I guess. We haven't kissed or done anything sexual or anything like that. I mean we kissed once but that was before my relapse. It was kind...part of the reason why, I guess."

"Why do you think that is?"

Willow shrugged, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "I don't know. I just — I don't know."

"You said you have feelings for him; why? What do you like about him?"

"Like isn't the right word," Willow corrected Denise, fiddling with her fingers. "I—I love him. I haven't told him yet, I wanna wait until I'm better but I do. I love him. Just so we're clear."

"Why's that?" Denise asked. "What do you love most about him?"

"He's good," Willow answered simply. "He's a good person. He's happy and sweet and playful and he makes me laugh more than anyone aside from my dad. I feel pretty around him, like I don't need to watch what I eat or balance calories and I never — I don't ever feel the need to drink around him. Or feel a buzz to get through a conversation. He's like a breath of fresh air."

"And do you find yourself missing him when he's not around?"

"Of course. But I do that with Robert and Norman too. I miss people I love when I'm not around them."

"Do you feel like you're...walking on air around him? Like you don't have to worry about anything because he makes you feel so good?"

"What are you implying?" Willow frowned, worry twisting in her gut.

"Nothing. I want you to think of how he makes you feel and describe it to me."

"I don't know," Willow shifted. "Happy. He makes me feel unique and heard. And supported. I feel loved with him."

"Okay," Denise nodded with a small smile. "I'm sorry to be confusing — sometimes with recovering addicts, they fall into relationships with other people and find a new high in that person. Have you felt like that at all? Reminiscent of being high or drunk?"

Willow thought about Denise's words, trying to recall a time she felt like that.

She knew what Denise meant; it's how she felt with James. She replaced one addiction with another.

Willow loved his voice more than anything else about him. It seduced her every time he opened his mouth. She loved his touch, craved it even, for the first few months they were together.

At first, he kept her off the drugs and alcohol. He was enough for her. His touch and whispered compliments and secret rendezvous; he was enough for her.