Etc. (Poetry & Short stories)

Jackson.

February. Or maybe it was March. April? 

Can't remember. All I can remember was what she wore, what she said and where we were. Even though when we spoke it seemed like nothing else or no one else was around. Forever already began for us. 

She came and sat next to me and told me her name. "Maddie." Loved that name. "Maddie." The more thought about her her name couldnt stop running on my freckled lips. "Maddie. Maddie Maddie." 

Her big white smile framed with her red lips. Her eyes, gray like a hurricane. Her cheekbones were the peak of my hills of my never ending love where rain drops would run down her cheeks just like tears. She was most beautiful. She was my Snow White. She was the fairest of them all.

May, I proposed. She said yes and I can't lie when I say that was the best day of my life because I knew she loved me. And I loved her too. I still love her. Yes I do.

December. December 12th 2012! 12:13 am. After three hours of texting her and calling her and her friends, panicking and thinking maybe she was just upset with me, I got the call. 

I rushed past flus, colds, nausea, nurses and stressed doctors to get to the one I needed to see the most. 

"Mr. Murphy, I'm so sorry, but your fiancé has passed away." 

I wanted to punch him. I wanted him to feel the pain in my chest. I wanted him to die with her for not saving her. I wanted to die with her because I wasn't there. I couldn't stop it. I let her go.

September of 2014 I learned to stop blaming myself for anything and everything that happened wrong. I found my sons and daughter Luke, Jaidon, Zak, Parker, and Donna. And I met someone else. Annabelle. She wasn't like Maddie. No. Nothing like her. Annabelle had attitude. Annabelle didn't like people and people learned not to like her. Even me.

I began to love her the more we kissed and I began to hate her the more we spoke. She was a child. A 36 year old child that watched Disney movies when we weren't arguing, making love, making forts, and working. Maddie was nothing like that.

December. I asked her to marry me. Idiot. I was such an imbecile for thinking that was a good idea. She turned into someone else and so did I. I changed her and she changed me. 

January. She's pregnant! And hopefully the child's mine. Everything turned into question between me and her. Am I the father? Did she cheat? What would I do if she did? More and more arguments came. Thought it was her but Turned out that I was the one to blame.

January. A Freaking Miscarriage.

A week later, I left. She said her body couldn't handle the baby. I said my heart can't handle lies. I got up and walked. I was done.

February, I came back, we made out, and drove to Vegas. We got married. We hit Disney, next thing I know, we've got another baby on the way. 

It all happened so fast. I got dizzy. Forgot how to keep up.

April, she made a new friend called Jasper. Dude looked like Thor. Dude looked like a joke. I couldn't take him seriously with the Fabio hair. But she.. Oh she loved his hair. His hair was created by whichever God that controlled the end of relationships. His Goldie Locks ruined our family of three little bears. Mama bear didn't mind. As long as she got to play with them and braid them and put them into buns, she was fine. She was satisfied.

 Baby bear's camera told me about what mama said to Goldie. "Papa bear doesn't have long hair like this. I can't play with his fur, I can't braid them, and I can't put them into buns so it's no fun." She said with an evil smirk as she ran her paws through his hair.

She wondered why I got so jealous.

Mmmmm June. Right? Yes. June. Annabelle learned how to flirt and bat her eyes at other guys. Specifically Jasper. She learned how to kiss him too. Right on the lips. Over and over and over again. And when she told me, I could see it. After every kiss behind my eyes, I could see my palm to her face and I could hear myself yelling "You can't do this to us! I NEED YOU! HOW COULD you do this? I'd never hurt you that way."

End of June, I left.

Beginning of July. We came back. We found it an amazing idea to somehow bring our hearts back together and make cute little shapes with them like clay. 

By the end of July I had already proposed again. She said yes but never thought to tell me how she kissed my daughter's boyfriend. I found out from him. 

Why couldn't she just keep her lips to herself? Didn't she realize that when I kiss her lips, bite them, and tug on them, they are mine? And when I leave love marks on her shoulders, legs, chest, stomach, and whisper my signature against all marks, she is mine to keep? She did the same for me. I'm still hers. I might've threw my ring in the river but that doesn't mean I don't still wear it. I wear the memories. I wear the accidental burns and scars from making late night cupcakes and quick drives to get Oreos then breaking down on the side of the road.

I still wear her. I still wear every kiss. I still wear every touch, every scratch, every slap, every bite, every glance... They don't wash off! No matter how hard I scrub, they're still there. I wear her like a brand new layer of skin.

A week later, I decided that I couldn't do it anymore. I had to go. I had to let her go. She tried to fix it all with a trip to the mountains. She knew I loved the mountains but, sadly, not with her. Not anymore.

As I drive away from my home of plastic love, everything hit me at once. She didn't love me. She only loved my company. I didn't love her either. I really didn't even love her company. Maybe I just wanted someone to hold. Maybe I was trying to find someone to replace my lost love. I should've known better than to do so. How could I be so stupid?