untamed {BTSxBTS}

001

Exhale, inhale. I am alive. I am alive. I am alive. I want to scream. Scream my heart out. I want to scream, cry, die. All at the same time.

Run, run away now that you are still you.

Panic, breathless, unable to inhale deep enough. A feeling I hate, but I love to hate it. Face to face with the real terror; not being able to breathe. After all these years I longed to chase that feeling. Nothing can touch me, only the air that I despair to let into my lungs.

Running, running from all that hunted me. For the memories I longed for to forget. To the dark I was succumbing, to what hurt unbearably. To set my sad soul free. An inner calm and peace. In who I'm becoming and all I've yet to be.

They undervalue you, when they think your softness is your weakness. When they treat your kindness like it is their advantage.

It was a freezing cold night, as icy winds blew through the city streets. It indeed was a beautiful night. The sky was clear and the stars shone brightly over the dark sky, lighting it up with a glimmer of hope.

But behind beauty shines misery and unbearably pain.

I awakened. Every dragon, every wolf, every monster that sleeps inside me, and I'll remind them what hell looks like. What hell is when it wears human flesh.

In the end, we are all made of flesh that can be cut, and bones that can be broken.

Can you hear me out there? Or are you beyond my reach, too far away to ever hear my voice. I feel my soul reaching out desperate to find you.

As I drift back in time, I surrender to memories of the past. We're all running for something, something better. We all think we will reach the end, but when we get there, there's always another bend.

Inhale, exhale. Don't stop Don't think. Run, run as fast as you can. Nothing I can't bear. I immerse myself in the crowd, taking quick looks of their faces illuminated with flashing colors.

I ran, ran away while I still could. Nothing on my mind other than escaping. I couldn't breathe. The lungs were ceasing up, clawing at the inside for the longing oxygen.

I feel lumps spreading throughout my organs. A wave of electricity shocks my body. My lungs cease to exist, my mind goes blank, and a gentle humming is left in my ears.

I wanted to stop my endless running.

Thousands of voices are talking, but I can't hear what they're saying. Running and panting. You never saw who danced with the fuckings devil's.

Crawl, pray, blend-in. I left everything behind. The ground covered in thorns with bites of thousands snakes. Running away from those who are thirsty of vengeance. From this earth that feels too tight.

Sobs, screams and the sound of grunts.

I push my way through the crowd, hide from my fear and find. the pain stings the body. Crawling up my spine. I run as much as my legs can take. the blood boils in the back of the throat. the knees pull forward. I push past.

the body fights against every movement. the voices follow me. heels hitting the wet ground. Clacking elegantly against the dead leaves. they are approaching. I run straight through everything and everyone.

Everything is so clear, but still so undefined. I run down the small street which has now suddenly become endless.

I kept running, and running.

Slowly but surely I closed my eyes and listened, listened to every sound, smell, feeling. my one ragged breath calmed down and found a rhythm.

A hand gripped my wrist harshly.