If Only Mom Could See Us Now. (Tony x Collin) [DISCONTINUED ]

Chapter ten

Shrignold looked from his book, giving an eyebrow raised. "What do you need?" Shrig asked, closing his book and put it on his lap. " Do you possibly know what hanahaki is?" His eyes widened but he picked back up his book flipping the pages nervously. "I don't.  Sorry Collin." I rolled my eyes, knowing it was a lie but what was I gonna get out of him?

I walk over Tony, blood stained on his cheek. I wiped it off and smiled at tony. His smile was pretty. "Hey Collin, how are you?" He grinned, for some reason he always looked so happy around me, but was also so nervous. It was always continuously switching.

Tony didn't really make sense to me, but it was comforting to see him smile. My cheeks turned slightly pink at the sight of him, how beautiful he was. I smiled back, responding after a second of silence. "Im good, thanks for asking!" Small talk kinda scared me, I didn't know how to respond for the life of me. But having small talk with Tony just scared me more.

Why? I didn't really know. He was still a mystery to me even with months of being here. I still miss home. I miss everything, I miss my sister, my home, what I was aiming for... I just wish I said no. Then maybe I would be where I wanted to be.

But this place is so complicated to explain. It's so comforting but chaotic. It been about a day since the other moved in and it already feels weird again, like when I first came here. I felt like the odd one out.

Tony coughed, bloody petals now connected to an anther rested in his hand. He was getting worse.. I could see him subtly clench his chest in pain. I felt so sorry for him.. he didn't deserve to go through this.

"Hey Tony?" He looked up to me. "Hm?"

"Can we maybe go on a walk? Just the two of us?" Tony stopped and shook his head. "Too cold." I giggled at this but he seemed serious. I sighed. "Fine.." I walked to the bedroom and looked out the window since that was only way to the outside world.

Tony's Pov:

Collin was too cute.
I couldn't get enough of him.
When he asked me if I wanted to go outside for a walk, I wanted to say yes. But hell... What if he just got hurt again? Or ended up dying? I didn't want that.. it's too dangerous out there. I coughed again, it wasn't just petals at this point. It was the yellow part too. What was next? A stem and thorns? It hurt my brain.. why was I like this?

I walked to the door frame and there was Collin, staring out the window like a little kid watching it snow. How desperately I wanted to kiss him and to tell him that I loved him so very much. But.. I knew deep down inside he didn't really like me. I was just a friend.

I respected his boundaries.. I just wish I was an excuse. I wish he would just grab me by my hands and confess his love. I feel so stupid. Why fall in love with someone who doesn't even love you back? wait.

Love.

Shrignold knew about love.
He could help me.
Help me get Collin to fall in love with me.
I wouldn't be bounded by the chains my heart kept me in. But I wasn't stupid, just.. oblivious. Oblivion of his own beliefs and how he rather let me die in a ditch then actually help me with my cause. It's that same stupid fucking sentence.

He's made for her! She made for him, That's the way it has always been!

It made my blood boil.

But he needed to help me.
I didn't want to die.
But I said the same thing a long time ago too.
And that ended up being a lie.
So what if this time it's just a lie too?
Love seemed like a lie too, it was pointless of trying.
He would never love me.
Never.

I heard something snap and my trance was broken. I look up and it was Larry the new guy. "You okay?" He slurred his words and his eyes were bloodshot. The smell of cigarettes, guilt, and regret stained his uniform. Larry sat down on the steps with me and looked at me for a solid minute.

I shook my head.

"I want to wake up. Wake up from the nightmare that's called my own fucking nightmare. It's not fair. I'm so deeply in love with him and he doesn't know. But I'm slowly dying, I can feel it. I just don't know why." Larry gave me a look of analyzation.

"Well, I know this. Tony is it?" I nodded and he continued. "You can't wake up from your own life. I would have done the same a long time ago. Life is something we live through to learn mistakes, we don't just die, we thrive in many other souls after this one. Your existence and life could be a nightmare for you." He looked to Collin. "But someone special could think your existence is simply the greatest dream, not wanting to wake up."

My eyes widened. Small tears formed in my eyelids and I wrapped my arms around Larry with a hug.

Thank you.
Maybe.. maybe Collin does like me.