-JJ Maybank imagines~

/"Hang on"/

TW: suicide, Self harm, arguing, mentions of abuse, blood.
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"FUCK YOU Y/N! IT'S YOUR FAULT DAD HATES US!" JJ yelled in my face. All I could do was stand there and hold back my tears. "JJ.." John B said grabbing  JJ's shoulders. "Don't fucking touch me John B." JJ said shoving John B's hands off of him. "It's not my fault I look like mom! Trust me JJ if I could, I would do anything to look different. I would do anything to save us. But I've tried! I've ran away! I left so maybe dad would stop hitting you, I'm sorry.." I said looking at my feet, hugging my chest. "You did nothing! You left me! You left me with him!" He yelled shoving me to the floor. "JJ STOP!" Kie yelled pushing JJ away, crouching to the floor helping  me get back up on my feet.

"Kie you have no clue what it's like having a sister like her!" JJ yelled pointing at me. "I FUCKING HATE YOU Y/N!" My heart dropped, I feel to my knees, I couldn't get anything out of my mouth, all I could do was cry. "OH DON'T START CRYING NOW! All you did was make my life miserable." JJ spat at me. "I've tried so hard to help you, I've bailed you out of jail with the money I was saving up to get us out of that house so many times, I've cleaned your cuts from dad, I've stayed by you our entire life! Everything I've done was to make you happy, to help you! I'm only still alive so you don't go through this alone!" I spat back at him through tears. "Everyday you remind me how much I hurt you!"

I yelled standing back on my feet. "I have tried so many times to rid you of me, but I've always failed. You constantly remind me of how much better the world would be without me!" I yelled in JJ's face. "I have tried so hard to get rid of the biggest problem in your life, but every time I try, I always wake back up." I say weakly. Everyone looked at me with a shocked face while JJ just stood there, not being able to speak. "You broke me, you shattered my heart, and left it on the floor for me to pick back up. I'm done with your bullshit JJ." I say shoving past him walking to the side of the house. I slide down the wall, screaming and crying, gasping for air. I grabbed my phone taking the blade from the case. Maybe the world would be better without me.. I brought the blade to my wrist cutting through the skin.

I cut the vein on my wrist, dropping the blade, my wrist oozing blood, I start to feel dizzy and the last thing I hear is JJ screaming at the group to hurry up and get over to me.

*JJ's POV*

I stood there shocked at Y/N's words, I wasn't able to speak, I just stood there looking at her, doing my best not to cry. She shoved past me walking to the side of the house. "Just give her a minute Jay." Kie said almost in tears. I'm so fucking stupid.. John B just looked at me in disbelief. I start walking to the side of the house but I don't hear Y/N crying anymore, I get to the side of the house and see a blade on the ground and blood pouring from her wrists. "GUYS HELP! HURRY UP!" I scream through tears. I run to Y/N picking her up off the ground, running to the group. They all just looked at her unconscious body in my arms. "Get to the van! Now!" John B yelled.

I ran to the van as fast as I could her body still in my arms. Kie swings the side door open letting me in, I sit down laying Y/N's body in my lap, crying harder than I've ever cried. "Please hang on!" I yell slamming my head against the wall of the car. "Oh lord, I need you by my side, please.. Please wake up.." I say softly still crying. I felt like all of the air was stolen from my lungs, gasping for air I look down watching the blood continue to drip from her wrist. "Here put this on her wrist to slow down the bleeding!" John B said handing me a piece of his shirt. He started the car speeding down the street to the nearest hospital. I put two of my fingers on her neck checking to see if she had a pulse still, nothing..

"HURRY UP I CAN'T FEEL A PULSE!" I screamed choking on the air. John B slammed on the gas petal almost hitting multiple cars. Once we got to the hospital we rushed inside. "HELP! I CANT FEEL HER PULSE! PLEASE SOMEONE!" I scream falling to my knees as her unconscious body still laid in my arms. Multiple doctors and nurses ran to us, picking her up and putting her on a bed. They ran her to a room yelling out her vitals. I run after them. "I'm sorry sir but you can't come back here!" One of the nurses yelled. "That's bullshit! I'm her brother! Please!" I yelled still crying. "I'm sorry sir but you can't!" The nurse yelled as the door shut behind her. I fell to my knees again, I couldn't hear anything, I couldn't feel my body, my body felt numb, everything was just a blur.

John B runs to me. "Come on, come sit down!" He said helping me back to my feet. About two hours later a doctor walked out of her room. "Mr.Maybank?" He yelled out. I jump from my seat running to the doctor. "Is she ok?!" I ask. "Mr. Maybank.." the doctor started. "No! No!" I yelled out. "..We don't know if she'll wake up." The doctor said looking up at me. "No.." I said crying. "Can I see her..?" I ask softly. "Of course." The doctor said walking away. I walk into her room and pull a chair next to her bed. "I'm so sorry Y/N, I never meant anything I said." As I'm talking I get cut off by her monitor loudly beeping. "DOCTOR!!" I yell as I realize it's her pulse dropping.

The doctor pushes me out of the room and shuts the door. The group runs to my side. "Was that her monitor?!" John B asked frantically. I nodded not saying a thing. About two minutes later the nurse comes out of the room her head hanging low. "Is she ok?!" I ask. "We did everything we could.." "I'm sorry but she's gone." "NO! NO!" I scream making everyone's heads look in my direction. The group fell into tears as I dropped to my knees. "No.." I whisper. I start gasping for air, choking on the air I was gasping for. "It's all my fault!" I scream out. "Let's go home.." John B recommends. "I can't leave her!" I say running into her room,staring at her body, her lifeless body. I fall next to her. "Please come back. I'm so sorry Y/N! I never meant anything I said, I was just angry at myself and I wrongly took it out on you! Please.." I choke out.

Kie and Pope come into the room picking me back up on my feet, they walk me out of the room taking me back yo the van. I slouch in the seat grabbing my bag. I pull out a joint and a lighter. "Really JJ?" Pope says looking at me tears flowing from his eyes. I put the joint back in the bag and just sat there, thinking about how I've treated her our entire life.