-JJ Maybank imagines~

-Hang on Pt.2-

Warnings: Angst, read /"Hang on"/ to understand this chapter!

*JJ's POV*

It'd been almost a year since Y/N died, I hadn't gone through any of her stuff. Until today. I walked into my room in the Château, walked to the corner where I kept her stuff and picked up her diary. I flipped through it, stopping when I got to a page titled "Dear Dad," I continued reading.

*The page.*

Dear Dad,
I wish you well, but I can no longer stand aside and watch you sabotage the two of us. I love you to dеath, but I can't spend the rest of my lifе in this darkness. I wish you the best, but
I'm not interested in givin' you more of my life, I've already given you too much. I'm done.

*End of the page.*

I teared up, I should've helped her, not make everything her fault. I skipped through more pages until I found a page titled "Dear JJ," I read the page.

*The page.*

Dear JJ,

I know that you mean well, but when I fail, I don't need ya rubbin' my face in it and treatin' me like I'm less than you, tell the truth you know you'll be better without me. Been in your shoes, don't be a fool and try to convince me that I'm the real issue. I love you but not enough to allow you to continue to drown the both of us, you're holdin' me back, you're pullin' me down, you're makin' me hate myself, I don't wanna leave, but that's what I need, I ain't got a choice, I can't just let you deceive and make me believe that I don't deserve to be loved.

*End of the page.*

At this point I was in tears, I felt like shit. I really was a shitty brother, all she did was try and shelter me from our father. I don't know what to do without her, I've been feeling lost, alone, guilty, stupid, and I can't stop thinking about how nasty I was to her. It's too late to feel bad now, she's already gone. I laid in my bed, holding her hoodie in my hands. I couldn't stop crying, she was the only thing that kept me going, the only thing that helped me get out of bed in the morning, the only thing that made me believe I could make it, but now she's gone. My phone dinged, pulling me from my thoughts. I reach over and grab it, looking at the bright screen.

It was a message from John B it read, "Meet me outside" "Ok." I replied, hopping out of bed throwing Y/N's hoodie over my head and walking out the door. My hands were in the pocket of the hoodie and my head was low, I lifted my head to see John B and a girl standing at the fire. I look closer and realize it's not just any girl, it's Y/N. I stand there, my eyes wide and my heart racing. The door shut and the two turned around, facing me. Tears fell from my red and puffy eyes as I looked at her face. She had a warm smile on her face, the smile that always made me smile. I ran down the stairs, running into her arms holding her tightly. Her arms wrapped around me tightly, my tears landing on the neck of her shirt.

I pulled away, my hands gripping tightly onto her upper arm as I stare at her face. "You cut your hair" She laughed ruffling my hair. "Yeah.." I whispered, still in shock at the fact she's alive. "Where have you been? I thought you were dead!" I say looking at her, tears running down my face. "I had to, I had to leave to be able to figure out how to get you away from dad.." I looked at her, my face gone soft. "Did you have to fake your death?" I ask, my voice cracking. "I didn't know how to tell you without telling you. But, I have a way to get you away from that douche." She lifted her hand to my face, rubbing her soft thumbs across it.

"I missed my big sister man.." I said with a shaky voice, leaning into her touch. "I don't want to leave you so if your plan involves me leaving your side I'm not doing it." I broke down just thinking about loosing her again. "I'll be here, with you, I worked my ass off to make enough money to get him outta here for good." She looked down at me still rubbing my face. "Thank you." I hugged her so tight it was like I was holding onto her for dear life.