Neteyam pov
"You're doing it wrong." I'm trying to teach Rotxo how to use a bow; he's absolutely useless at it. We've been hanging out a lot lately, he is probably one of my best friends now.
"You're doing it wrong, yeah, we'll if you're so good you do it." His arms flung up in exasperation as he mimicked me. I let out a small laugh at the action, he always gave up when he didn't understand something.
"That would defeat the purpose of teaching you." I grab the bow from his hand anyway deciding to continue teaching him later. It was no use trying to show him if he had already decided he couldn't do it. "What are you going to do if you don't learn how to hunt?" I didn't really know what other options for males there were.
"I want to be a healer, I know it's stupid but I want to help people." His eyes were down as he said it, he looks embarrassed. A smile finds its way to my lips.
"I don't thinks it's stupid, you'd be a great healer." It was the truth, he would be amazing at helping people. I could see him helping everyone, no matter their background.
"You really think so?" I nod my head in agreement, he smiles at this. He has been one of the most helpful people in my life these past few weeks. I can go to him with anything, he has helped so much with getting over Aonung, if you could even call it that. I can't stop thinking about him no matter what I do, he is always right there in my mind. The thought of him is like a growing seed that feeds off of me ignoring it. The more I push it away the bigger and more pressing it gets. I can't seem to shake the memories of him, every single time I see him thoughts of us come rushing back. Rotxo said it would ease with time but it's been weeks and I still haven't gotten over him.
Anytime I see him a sharp pang stabs me through the heart, it feels like diving into the ocean during a storm except I can't escape it. I'm still sitting in the water just waiting for the storm to pass, or maybe I'm waiting for the waves to finally pull me under. I can't decide what I would rather happen, I want to forget what happened and just move on, leave all the hurt behind. But part of me can't let go of everything we shared, it can't let go of all the memories held in the air between us. Every moment is suspended in the air, waiting for me to reach out and grasp onto it, waiting for me to reach into the storm and let it pull me in. I want so badly to let the storm sweep me away, to never resurface, to let the icy depths claim me as their own.
"Neteyam? You ok?" I jolt back to reality, I didn't realise that I had drifted off.
"Uh yeah I'm all good." I try and brush it off, hoping he wouldn't notice, but as always, he does.
"What's wrong?" I hate it when he asks that. I hate when he sees through the face I put on.
"Nothing, I promise I'm ok." No I'm not ok. I am so not ok. I want to fucking give up. I can't do this shit. Fucking help me. I smile it off pushing the thoughts of him to the back of my mind. He looks at me unsure, he could always tell when I was lying.
"You know it's ok if you're upset about what happened." I nod, it's not ok. It's been weeks. Why am I so pathetic? Why can't I just get over him? I hate myself.
"I have to go, I'll see you later." Get me out, get me the fuck out. I hurry away from him heading toward the village, a tear snakes it's way down my face. I brush it off quickly and hope no one will notice. I move quickly through the village heading toward my marui, I keep my head down avoiding eye contact with everyone. As I'm walking I bump straight into someone, I bounce straight back off of their solid chest. I look up to see Aonung... and Roku. Fuck.
"Uh.... Shit... sorry." I can't seem to form any words, everything comes crashing back into me. I start to cry, what is wrong with me? I duck my head and push past them. I can't do this today.
Aonung pov
Was he crying? He had looked upset when he bumped into me. I should have said something to him, what is wrong with me? I should have asked him how he is, asked if he was ok, but no, instead I stand there and stare at him. I need to talk to him, I need to explain things. And I need to get rid of Roku.
"Hahah what a loser, was he crying?" Dick, he's a dick. I hate him, I hate him so fucking much.
"Can you shut up, it's not funny. Actually can you just piss off. I can't deal with you today." He keeps following me around and I am so sick of it. Why can't he get the message, I fucking hate him. He is the reason Neteyam hates me, he is the reason that everything is wrong. I walk off leaving him there, I am so done with him. I can't stand him.
I walk down the beach to where Neteyam and I used to meet. I come here often now, I spend most of my time here or at the pool in the trees. It's bad, I know, but I can't help but come back here. I want everything to go back to the way it was when Neteyam and I were here. When it was no one but us sitting here, when we were in our own world where nothing and no one else mattered. Those are the moment I want to relive forever.
I sigh and sit down staring at the water, I sit there in silence lost in thoughts of us. I would give anything to go back to what we had, anything. But I know that will never happen. Why did Roku have to come back, why did he have to kiss me, why didn't I tell Neteyam about him, why can't I just talk to Neteyam? I need to talk to him, to explain but part of me knows that it will be futile. He hates me, he couldn't forgive me.
But I am not the only one in the wrong, he kissed Lyria right in front of me. I know why he did it, but I just wish he gave me a chance to explain. This is all so confusing. I can't deal with any of it. I sit here not speaking, not thinking, just listening. I listen to the sound of the ocean lapping at the sand, to the sound of people talking in the village, to the sound of ilus playing in the water. I let it all wash over me and fill my head. I let it drown out all thoughts of anything. I let it keep me in silence. Until my silence was interrupted by someone calling out my name.
"Aonung." Who the....?
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Guys I need help, what do I do from here?
Thoughts on this chapter?
Sorry for the long wait, I've been super busy with school
Love you all❤️
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Silence Between Words (Neteyam X Aonung)
FanficI knew I would love him until the end of my days, I would love him until my lungs ceased to draw breath, until the universe was no more, until he and I were just another star in the sky, until the very land on which we stood wilted away beneath us...
