Shouldering Memories

Blitzo always had an odd way of pointing out Orion the Hunter in the evening's sky. On nights where he couldn't sleep, he snuck out of the tent to stand outside and watch the stars. His most recent playdate with the Goetia prince prodded this new nighttime habit. Maybe it was the way he thought of the royal owlet. The guilt that caressed his mind of conning someone so trusting.

Would Orion the Hunter ever have acted as Robin Hood? Stealing from the wealthy to give to people like his father? Fill the holey pockets of the greedy and needy?

"Whatcha lookin' at, Blitzo?" Fizzarolli asked one evening, having trailed his playmate from the quiet corner where they slept.

A balmy circus evening, wisps of hay still trailed along with the accompaniment of wrappers and empty paper popcorn bags. The crimson imp child found a tuft of hay and laid upon it, arms crossed behind his head. For a moment the child froze with the utterance of his name, though after a moment eased as the voice's owner was far too soft to have been his father's. "Hey," he managed after recomposing himself, offering Fizzaroli a hint of a smile. "Watchin' the stars. Wanna join?"

"I've never stargazed before," he whispered his awe. Encumbered by hours of practice and training with Buckzo rendered Fizz exhausted. Always in bed before the sun set, dirtied from hard work. "Can Banana Puddin' come?"

Turning his head to Fizzarolli fully, his friend clutched the apple-red balloon horse close to his chest hopefully. "Yeah, he can come." Adjusting himself, Blitzo made room, divvying up the hay for equal cushion against the hardened cold ground before Fizz settled his body beside the son of Cash Buckzo.

Fizzarolli beamed as he wiggled himself against the hay, holding Banana Puddin' with one small hand while the other mimicked Blitzo in resting against the back of his head. "So, what are we looking at?"

"You see that one there?" Blitzo whispered, pointing to the row of three stars. "That's Orion the Hunter. I imagine he's brave and protectin' the other stars from the dippers."

Fizzarolli released a small gasp. "The dippers are attacking?"

"Yup." Blitzo bobbed his head. "And Orion's gonna get 'em."

"How?"

An impish smirk curled upon Blitzo's features. "They're gonna fight...in the Great Pirate War."

"No!" Fizzarolli protested through a fit of giggles, "No pirates!"

"Shhh!" Blitzo's eyes jerked towards the tent's entrance briefly, listening for any pervasive footsteps before returning to Orion.

Fizzarolli, however, tilted his head gently. "What's that red one in the corner?"

"That's Betelgeuse. That's the shoulder of Orion." He pointed. "See?"

"Betelgeuse is almost as red as you." Fizzarolli's giggle said to Blitzo that it wasn't meant degradingly. Not much that Fizzarolli did was. That was why he was as well-loved by the public. No, he was simply being honest.

Such a red star, a blip in comparison to the greater picture-but enough to stand out. Is that what Blitzo was? Just enough to stand out? The small impling frowned.

The desire to be someone's warrior, someone's hunter weighed upon Blitzo. They had roles that were loved and cherished. Outside of some circus performer who barely got a chuckle. He wanted to be loved.

That day his father sold him was the first of many. He never did see the young owl prince again. But he and Fizz, they made stargazing a nightly routine together. Something that led Blitzo to feel close to another. Because it was something he initiated.

Until it backfired.

--------

Years later...

He swallowed as a disruption withheld their usual nighttime routine. Fizzarolli paced between the suitcase on the bed, the side of the dresser where he kept his things, as well as the closet. The far-off yet immediate sound of mechanical parts that followed him left Blitzo to uncomfortably wince.

It was his fault. The accident. Likely the whipped topping to the crap cake Blitzo had been baking in the oven that was his life for too long. How was he to know that his desperate reach for an entertainment centerpiece would destroy half the circus, along with the amputation of Fizzarolli's limbs?

Oh, he presented a show-stopper alright. One that took more than the imp bargained for. Some things he would never get back.

He didn't want Fizz to go. Just like he didn't want his mother to. "Listen, maybe if we just took a second to-"

Fizzarolli paused, willing his cybernetics to carefully lower the clothes into the suitcase. Slowly, he exhaled, "You think looking at balls of gas will solve anything, Blitzo? Change anything? Face it, I've got to go before I wind up stuck in this shitshow."

The dead-end circus was facing closure, his father's pride and joy that he couldn't wait to see fall to shambles. There was no saving any of it. Perhaps that explosion was both a gift and a curse. He tried so hard to put Fizzarolli back together both figuratively and literally. Though he supposed his dedication wasn't enough to earn the forgiveness of a loved one.

"There's nothing left. Mammon says there are better things for me...Even as I am."

Of course Mammon did. Lure him where they'd make a spectacle of him. Maybe that was what Fizz needed, to recover his sense of self. Always accustomed to being the star, the center of attention, loved by all.

The childlike wonder had long since faded from his yellow irises, magenta sclera hardened now with life and experience. The happiness was distant, as were any feelings left between them. Platonic or otherwise.

The click of the suitcase's closure echoed-hollow with a sense of completeness. Fizzarolli erected himself from his hunch over the bed, picking up the suitcase with him. Even if Blitzo were to have spoken up, it wasn't going to flip the switch in the other's decision.

"...You don't deserve this, but I'll leave you with this...give up. As you are now, you're fighting your own pirate war...no wonder I fuckin' hate pirates," he scoffed as he headed for the door. Placing a cybernetic hand upon the handle, Fizzarolli paused. He could almost feel the blotchy imp's flinch, the sting of their former running joke giving one last lashing, the one that would shatter the only world they've ever known up until now. "You try too hard...that's why you'll never be Orion. A true hunter, a skilled hunter, just hunts...that's why you're just the shoulder."