Are you writing kpop fanfics?? Do you feel like improving yourself as writer??
Then this is the place for you. You will not just get review but also guidance on how to be good writer.
About me - I am experienced author, reviewer and judge. I am pa...
The writing style was based on dialogues mostly. It was written in a play or screenplay sort of manner. Your writing style is somewhere between expository and narrative. The only thing I have against it is that it doesn't help in descriptions and emotions. The characters and narrator needs room for expressing each action and each emotions but the writing style here doesn't help in it. There is just actions and dialogues, no description of actions, very less emotions. You can improve this by adding more description with each line and more emotions. There is more showing than telling.Also, using *......* , these tags for writing actions isn't adviced. I suggest descriptions, like "he went there" for action instead of *going *. No professional writer uses these tags. Also, the use of "???" for Taehyung in initial chapters could have been replaced by Jimin's friend, raven haired guy, guy with boxy smile etc instead of question marks. Professional writers don't use question marks for a character. Plus there are lots of author's note between the dialogues. I don't complain about author's notes but the notes were too long and does draw readers out the story.
Plot - The book is too short to be judged for it's plot.
Characters and character development - 3/5 The characters are fun and cute but the book is too short to be judged for it's character development. The characters can be more deep with flaws and backstories.
Pacing and editing - 5.5/10 The pacing was good but it felt like you narrated the same thing again and again which wasn't needed. There's need of grammar corrections for editing. I suggest you to learn tenses and structure of sentence and read a lot of books, because reading will help in improving your grammar.
Grammar , vocabulary and diction - 3/10 As mentioned above about grammar, it needs improvement. Vocabulary and diction are basic.
Hook - 5/10 The plot isn't revealed yet so I don't know if the hook sets a good mood for whole plot but it was an interesting read. It could have been more emotional. Writers writing about trauma can make it more emotional with expressions, dialogues, diction, make readers relate to the character. Like if you want readers to love your character, make them like a reader. Obviously, you can't know all your readers but a general idea about a reader that they are high school students, insecure about themselves, having hard time with studies, parents and personal life etc. Try to do that. Avoid cliches like "tears rolled down her eyes" , "she felt weak in her knees." etc. We have read these sentences so many times that we don't feel emotional while reading these, I am guilty of using these phrases too.
Cover - 2/5 Although the cover is relatable to the story but it isn't unique, it can be more creative, with Taehyungs picture.
Dialogues - 6/10 The dialogues were funny. They could have been executed properly with more emotions.
Blurb - 2.5/5 The second paragraph does draw audience in in your blurb and channels the storyline too.
Themes and motifs - 2/5 This theme is used very much on wattpad especially fanfics, I hope there will be some twist or something more new in the plotline in later chapters. The book is too short to be judged for motifs.
Creativity and Subtext - 2/5 As said earlier, the book isn't creative YET. Creativity isn't just in terms of plotline but in terms of writing style, dialogues etc too. You can surely make it creative. The book is too short to be judged for subtext.
Total - 36/75 (as of now)
Goods - 1. Characters 2. Character bonding 3. Humor
Things you can improve - 1. Writing style and grammar 2. Creativity and theme. 3. Execution, emotions, editing. I know you can improve 💜
