I'm Fine [Finished]

Chapter Sixteen: New Year New Me

Christmas day. I was back at home, waiting for the text from Cole that I could come over. It's just gonna be me and him, and I didn't even get a present.

I don't have a job, so I guess he wouldn't be upset. I wish I got him something. I did write a song for him last month, but there's no way I can play that for him.

He finally sent the text, and luckily, I don't have to sneak out today. Dad is out getting beer, then he's gonna get drunk watching TV and pass out. He won't give me a second thought.

I headed out and forgot that he had taken the car. It's practically my car. I use it more but fuck him. I can walk. The walk isn't long. It's a solid ten minute walk.

He opened his door like he was waiting for me. Was he looking out the window to keep watch for me? Was he that exited?

"Why aren't you wearing a winter jacket?" He asks.

"Hello to you too."

"You could freeze and die of hypothermia."

"Ok, I was out for ten minutes, and I'm fine. I have the sweatshirt."

"Yeah, yeah," he closed the door behind us, "the heat is up so you can take it off."

Fuck no, "I'll keep it on. Thanks."

Cole nodded and took me by my sleeve as always and dragged me to the living room. A Christmas tree. There are so many decorations. Where are his parents?

"Hey, where are your parents?" I ask.

"They are working, and I know, working on Christmas is terrible, but they always choose work before me."

"I'm sorry."

"They are great parents, though. They have made a lot of time for me plenty of times."

"But they neglect you."

"No parent is perfect."

I scoffed a bit, "That's an understatement."

"I got you something," he held up a small gift bag.

"Fuck, I didn't get you anything."

"You didn't have to. I saw these and thought of you. Technically, it's two gifts."

"Ok then," I took the bag.

"I normally always give one gag gift and one genuine one."

"Creative," I smile and look in the bag. The first thing I felt was soft. A stuffed animal. I took it out, and it was a stuffed bear with a guitar sewn to its paws.

I couldn't help but laugh, "ok, this is the best gift I've ever gotten. It's actually my first gift."

"What about your parents?"

"Well...Parent. He doesn't get me anything. My mom did, I'm sure, but I was too little to remember. Mostly, it was toys."

"The next part of the gift is from all of us," he explains.

I dumped the rest out on the coffee table. Guitar picks. Each is different, and there's seven.

"Each of us painted and colored a guitar pick for you."

I was so shocked. I picked up the first one I saw, and it was a symbol of the video game character I played at Rains.

The next one was a DJ table like from Jeremy's party. The next was a free bird. Like Tigris. There was one that was a painting of a paint brush with a canvas like Margot. One from Gwen was a book. The last one was from Cole.

It was of music notes with a heart in the middle. I flipped it over, and it said:

Creativity comes from the heart, and I know you have a big one that creates the best kind of art
~Cole

I felt my eyes tear up as I looked at them. They really did this for me. For a gift.

"Do you like them?" He asks me, "Are you ok?"

I looked at him and smiled. A real one. It felt so big. I gave a sniffle, though, which gave me away. I was getting emotional. But I've been yelled at for that.

"Its ok," Cole lifted my head back up from under my chin.

"I love it," my voice cracked. No one's done this for me. This year is not how I imagined it. I don't want this to end. I never wanna go back home.

A voice in the back of my head spoke against this feeling. My dad. Leave me alone. I'm happy. For once, I'm happy.

I put the picks and bear back in the bag. I leaned against Cole and put my face against his neck. This is safe. This is ok. He says it's ok. I trust him. I felt his fingers run in my hair calmly.

This is the most safe I've ever felt. I don't wanna leave. I wanna stay with him. But I know this won't last. I know what happens when I get home. I'm enjoying this while it lasts, though. This is how I wanna end my time.

"Thank you..." I say, "thank you."

"You deserved it," he told me, "and don't worry about getting me anything. Not being alone during the holidays is perfect."

We stayed like that for a while. We later had some food. We watched movies and talked about random things. We talked about our intrusive thoughts or random questions we've had. It was great. I was laughing.

The day ended, and being at home was dreadful. By the time I got to my room, I was so sore. I need a distraction. I need a release. So I did what I normally do.

Eventually, New Years Eve came around. We were with the group at Jeremy's, and I saw Gwen, and once I did, I hugged her.

"Woah, what's this for?" She hugged back.

"A thank you for the gift. I loved all of them."

"Of course," she backed away, "you better love it. I spent two hours on that so it would be perfect."

"That's some good dedication."

"Hell yeah, it is."

Blair put her arms around me and Gwen, "ok I brought Cards Against Humanity, and everyone has to play. No refusing."

"Whats that?" I ask.

"The best card game of all time," Blair patted my back and dragged us to the table.

Ok, she's right. That game was a blast. Tigris won since her mind is fucked up and all. She had the best responses.

Jeremy turned on the TV for the countdown. Oh no. Not the countdown. What about the kiss thing? The only person who's an option for me is Cole.

Jeremy had his hand around Gwen's waist, and she looked happy about that. Margot was holding Tigris' hand. Blair and Rain were sitting close together.

Cole put his hand on my shoulder, and the clock struck midnight. It was the new year. Jeremy kissed Gwen on the cheek. Margot kissed Tigris' hand. Blair and Rain kissed on the lips, which had us all shocked and apparently shocked Rain.

My head turned to Cole, and he kissed my cheek. My face got hot, and he just smiled, "happy new year."

"Yeah," I say, "happy new year."

-
Deep End- Birdy
I Lived- OneRepublic