Breaking Barriers - Ryeji

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I, the author, have chosen to make this story introduction and bio purposely inadequate when considering tropes and additional information, unlike my previous stories.

However, to influence readers to read my story, I will add a small introductory page that will lead to a mysterious world full of differing opinions, mendacious ways, dynamic characters, and of course, some WILD conflict. What starts with what she thinks is somewhat mature knowledge is really pure innocence and the sacredness of an 18-year-old, just beginning at a well-known college in her area. She will end her first year with a transformational experience. Not only in education but in her personal life too.

(SONGS WILL BE INTRODUCED THROUGHOUT THE STORY AND I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO EITHER LISTEN TO THEM OR LOOK THE LYRICS UP!!!)

These songs help the reader understand what the character is feeling better. And they fit almost perfectly to the scene.

Yeji's POV:

Remember when your parents or older family figures would teach you lessons or at least try to illustrate your future with advice portraying around the hatred of a person?

Whether this was the boy who called you ugly in kindergarten or the girl who got with your ex behind your back, they'd always give that same stupid statement, 'Never use the word hate,' for one, and, 'Who knows, this person you say you hate may certainly be someone important in your future, and whether that's a friend, a best friend, or even a romantic partner.'

I almost wanted to say that I hated what they had to say about it. Every single time they'd say this, I would gain a disturbing and sickening feeling, though, most people would say I wouldn't give a reaction to something in superstitious territory or anything similar. Basically, the whole 'knock on wood,' trick didn't work on me, or 'don't say anything bad or else something bad could happen," otherwise known as a jinx.

These superstitions were something very common in my life, coming from a family who was very involved in the conspiracy theory world. They were also very religious and conservative, which didn't help me, since I wasn't a believer in many, countless, things that lifestyle offered.

Often, I hear that I am independent.

My independence started at a very young age. This was because my family cherished my sister more than they cherished me, and usually, how that story goes, I would have rebelled against it or become a brat for wanting attention that I, my therapist once said, 'needed.' However, Hwang Yeji has a different story. As you can expect, I did not rebel against my family nor did I become a brat. I built a protective invisible but yet visible to others, barrier.

My own bubble.

Whatever was to enter my bubble, I'd eject it before it popped. This bubble has stuck with me for most of the time I have been alive on this planet. And to be fair, everyone has their own bubble, but some are stronger than others.

Judging from what other people have said about my bubble, I was a part of the stronger group.

At some point in our messy lives, we have had our bubble pop at least once. Those moments where our bubbles pop is called our vulnerability.

With this bubble analogy, this could mean little air holes that get poked at every once in a while. Since those areas lack the strength it needs to complete their priority (keeping as much air inside), someone pouncing on it could very well damage the holes even more, or make it very hard to repair.

This is no different than the way our minds work. Instead of someone physically affecting our 'holes', we have triggers. Some triggers can involve physical conduct though.

An example that comes to mind would be someone laying a hand on you. The memory of this happening, typically in childhood, will come back to you. And if not, the emotions will. You will become scared, sad, mad, or anxious, most of the time, and try to use your bubble's strength. But then again, this 'hole' or otherwise vulnerability, will not have the strength to protect you against your own damage.

There are resources like exercising, talking to a loved one, self-love being practiced in multiple ways, and many more healthy habits that will help though. I have tried almost all of these ways and sometimes feel that it is impossible to fully repair myself. But, quite frankly, it's probably very true. My bubble will never turn back to 100% quality.

But could it ever get to 99%?

How could I get there?

This question makes you want to pursue a lifestyle where you use effective resources to finally get to the repairing you're aching for.

However, I've learned that the chase to this destination has taken a long time and a lot of damage has been made. I'm not a girl with patience, I've never been. I've also never been one to be focused on only one thing when there are so many other things happening at once.

My first day of college is in a week.

My journey to repairing my vulnerabilities could take years.

Which one am I going to focus more directly on?

My first day of college in a week.

This does not mean that I will not solely focus on my first day of college. After all, I did say that it's hard for me to focus directly on one thing. So repairing my vulnerabilities isn't exiting the room yet.

While that is closed in its file in my mind, another file will be opened.

Hatred.