Breaking Barriers - Ryeji

[2]

Yeji's POV:

Seven more days.

But the day had finally come when I move out of my childhood home.

I was fortunate we hadn't moved over the years. I felt sympathy for those who went through something like that. Even though, I may be more independent than others doesn't mean I don't have sympathy for people. People automatically judge people who are introverts and say that they're apathetic. In some cases, I really didn't give a shit about what was happening, but it didn't reflect as a characteristic trait when describing my personality.

I'm not psycho.

If you told me your dog died, I'm going to care.

If you told me you cheated on a test, I'm not going to care.

Some of these situations are just common sense.

But I have been... bashed for situations like these in the past. Maybe that's why I hate those people who bashed me for it.

I exhaled with a huff when my mother kept crying in my arms, pleading that I wouldn't leave.

I've had 18 bittersweet years with her.

Pretty but not pretty.

Although, I wasn't going to say anything negative because I knew that this was hard for her.

"Eomma," I expressed, "I have to get going. I'm going to be late for orientation, you don't want that, right?"

My mother and I had a complex relationship. Same with my father but at the same time, these past few years, or my teenage years, we didn't do many things together. We barely even spoke to each other. He could have all the time in the world for his work but not for me because I wasn't his number one priority. Family-friends named him the work-holic. I named him as that man I didn't know. The unknown but known.

When my sister and I were kids, he was known.

But somehow that went to the unknown man who sat at the top of dining table at dinner for only five minutes, just to leave to find something more interesting than me.

Work was more interesting.

Work...

If I wasn't interesting or being listened to, why say anything at all?

So, therefore, my father and I didn't really have a relationship.

...Circling back to my mother and I's relationship, we loved each other immensely at the end of the day, no matter what. My mother was very irascible towards the end of my time spent dwelling here. We often fought because of this but I believe she had a good reason to, considering the fact that girls were taking me home past my curfew.

My mother had known about my sexual orientation since I hit elementary school, I believe that's what she told me. If it wasn't elementary, then it was for sure middle school.

Middle school was very rocky for me. It honestly felt longer than high school but really was the shortest length of time at one particular school I attended. What made it feel long was the excruciating amount of drama. Every single day, there was something new to focus on. Who broke up with who, who talked behind whose back, who did the most embarrassing shit, and who talked back to the teachers.

It was simplistic when compared to high school drama. I mean that in a way of maturity. Like sex and drugs. Talking behind people's backs was the whole world in middle school. But we truly had no idea there'd be a lot worse things than that in high school. And I still feel like after high school, which is the period I'm in right now, will have even worse than those factors. However, I was excited to be approaching a new kind of 'worse'.

Despite the drama, drugs, sex, etc., I continued to be my assiduous self. Which, I hope to continue in my college years. I know if things were to abstruse me, I'd be in deep trouble. I will admit that falling behind scares the shit out of me. Just in a matter of time, I know I will grow eager.

"All right," Mom stepped back, brushing the back of her hand against her face to absorb some of the moisture. Her tears had become so multiplied that it was hard for her to see and certainly, she did not want to miss or forget this moment.

The emotion finally struck me.

I was leaving.

My eyes wandered behind my mother, staring at my childhood home, and tears fell down my face. As much as I hated my life here and how most people treated me here, most of my memories were going to be in this house.

My watch buzzed, indicating that I needed to leave.

"I love you, goodbye," I walked out to the road and around my car, before finally entering the driver's side. My phone kept buzzing and it was my friends, mostly acquaintances that were texting me exigent things. It led me to believe that they had already arrived.

The good thing is that the college I was attending, Itzy University, also known as IU, was not very far away. In fact, it was just an hour. This way I could keep in touch with my friends still in high school. However, college students have to be studying, on-campus most of the time, and going home would just be difficult besides the breaks we have. Honestly, I wasn't sure if I even wanted to come back for the parents reason.

Goodbye home... that never really felt like home.

I'll always remember you - Miley Cyrus

Author's note:

What are we thinking so far 🤔